The 6 Week Weight Loss Challenge is Over… And has been for awhile.

It’s been so long since I have updated this website! I’m not doing so hot on this New Year’s Resolution huh? This summer has just been crazy busy. Every weekend we’ve had events. As much as I love summer… this one has just been non-stop and I’m ready for fall. Football, sweatshirts, tailgating, bonfires… it’s going to be amazing! Best of all, I get my weekends {and weekdays for that matter} back!!!

But anyway, back to what this post is about! As you have read previously, I have started this weight loss journey for real. And things have changed, for the better! I just haven’t posted about it… but that’s all about to change, I promise. I’m going to start at least letting you know where I’m at weight wise.. even if it’s just a number in the post.

If you are friends with me on my personal Facebook page, you probably already know the news regarding my 6 week challenge at Elite Edge Gym, however, if you are not… well here it is: I lost the 20 pounds!!! Not an ounce over or under… exactly 20 pounds.

I am so relieved, as if a huge boulder was taken off my shoulders. During the last week of the challenge, I only had 3 more pounds to go… which typically would have fallen off easily judging from the previous weeks, but for some reason, those pounds were sticking hard the remaining 6 days. And I really think it was stress related.

But in the end, I did it!! That is $300 I got back into my bank account. Seriously… it’s such an amazing feeling, knowing I accomplished my first real, hefty goal. In reward for my 20 pound weight loss, my husband told me I could purchase a pair of cowboy boots to replace the last pair I had to give a burial to on that dreadful, September day… So that following Saturday, that’s exactly what I did, I got a new pair of boots. And I couldn’t be happier with my first weight loss reward.

I’m still debating what my next reward is at the following 20 lbs lost, which I’m aiming to complete by end of August, beginning of September. My reward was going to be a new swimsuit… but at that point, summer will be over. And by next summer, I better be at my end goal & wasting money on a new swimsuit now {at the end up swimsuit season} seems ridiculous to me… so I am still deciding. If you got any ideas, please let me know! :)

Anyway!

I now also get to update my chart and pictures. I forgot to write down all the measurements for the 220#, so one column will be missing those… and I forgot to take pictures at the 210#, but you’ll get the idea. :) I promise I’ll start to remember!

Start 220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep  14″  13.5
R Bicep  15″  14.5″
Boobs  47″  43″
Under Boobs  42″  39.5″
Belly Button  51″  47″
Hips  50″  47.5″
L Thigh  27.5″  24.5″
R Thigh  27.5″  25″

 

220 pounds

220lbs-1

220lbs-2

 

Right now, as I type this post, I am soooooo close to 30 lbs.. so I’m about to update all these pictures and chart here in the next few days!!!  {Hopefully}

So now you’re probably wondering what I’m doing now? Or maybe no, but I’m gonna tell ya anyway. I got myself a trainer, named Michael Turner, for the next long haul. I met him at Complete Nutrition in Ankeny {while I was still with Elite} when I was getting more protein powder. He’s the manager there and helped me a lot and we just hit it off right away. Then he mentioned he was a nutritionist and trainer… so I kept his card just in case. And I am so glad I did!

He’s pretty similar to Elite in regards to the food plan {my macros are higher for what my body actually requires}, but it’s much more personal than the large group at Elite.

He actually pays attention; telling me how much to lift, counting for me to ensure I don’t miss one rep. And I actually come home shaking. And I love it.  We have so much fun even if I am cussing him out the entire time… which he loves! I absolutely LOVE lifting and my favorite part is when I hit muscle failure and I literally can. not. do. another. rep.

Clothes that haven’t fit in years are starting to look nice, or dare I say baggy? And people have and do notice a big change, which in my honest opinion, is the best part about this whole journey… I can see the tiniest of change, good or bad, but when it’s drastic enough that other people notice?

It’s awesome sauce.

So I’ll leave you with this for now. But look for another update next week… Good or bad, because I’m surprising Jason with an adult get away trip for our anniversary, and we leave Thursday… But I plan on at least running 2 of the 3 mornings {while everything is quiet} during our vaca. All this will make sense next week when I tell you all the dets! Promise.

And I’m hoping to have another photo dump post soon also! It’s been so long since I’ve posted my offspring!

Hopefully everyone has an amazing week and I can’t wait until next time!!

 

 

Kicking Fat’s Ass Update

It’s about time for an update, ya think? It’s been awhile. But honestly, I have been kicking my ass. In such a good way.

Long story short for the first part of this post, I’m down 9 lbs in 3 weeks. Which is dang amazing really. 3 lbs a week! I never have been able to do that, ever in my life. Maybe a pound or two at the most, every other week or so.

I’m starting to see muscle show up on my body. I bent over to tie my shoe, and BAM! In my face was this calf muscle… it popped outta no where! “Hello there you sexy calf you. Welcome back”

Now for the long story… yet still a short version.

I did the 3 weeks of Kosoma with my cousin’s girlfriend Emily. And I really enjoyed it. It was fun, I walked out of there incredibly sweaty after each workout. However, I was still learning a lot. I didn’t loose any weight while there. But I noticed I was getting stronger.

At the beginning of the Kosoma free trial… I couldn’t do anything. Literally… burpees? HA. You’re funny. I couldn’t get from a squat to my feet jumping back & then forward… but then they wanted me to stand back up and jump again? Ya… They were lucky I could even stand back up at all.

I literally could only walk my legs back; walk them forward; somehow, got myself to stand up, and “jumped” but my toes were still on the ground. I was a mess. I was like that for every exercise we did.

Kosoma really opened my eyes on just how out of shape I was. And it was embarrassing. My three weeks was coming up and I knew I couldn’t join. It’s too expensive.

During my last week of Kosoma, my cousin Travis stopped over & mentioned he had a test run at Elite Edge Gym. I hadn’t heard of it, but the more he was telling me about it, the more it seemed pretty similar to Kosoma. Music loud and pumping throughout the gym, a coach in front telling you how or what to do, a clock running, high adrenaline. But then he mentioned, “They’re the home of the 6 Week Bootcamp Challenge”. Okaaaaay… and that is…?

Loose 20 pounds in 6 weeks and the whole thing is free. Yes. Free. $300 paid for. But if you don’t loose it… you’re stuck loosing the money. And that’s a shit load of money.

And it’s strict, they give you a food list you can choose from. No alcohol {ya’ll know how hard that is for me}, no bread, no pasta, no dairy, no recipes. Literally, just simple foods. A piece of protein, some veggies, and a little bit of fat. Luckily, you get one cheat meal every week where anything and everything is okay to eat or drink.

That. Is. It. The nutrition is determined by Macros. Girls must eat 100 grams of protein, 50 g of Net Carbs {Carbs – fiber}, & 50 g of Fat a day. Which is lower than my numbers probably should be. However, this is a 6 week body bootcamp! Not a little walk in the park… quite literally.

The only thing that makes me slightly uneasy is all women, no matter the size, had these same numbers. Women who are twice my size or half my size all had to eat the same numbers… which I feel shouldn’t be the case. But they’ve been doing this for a long while and must know what they are talking about.

But, after much deliberation, and contemplating, and chit chats with the hubs about it.. I decided to go for it. Jump in with both feet. This was an incredibly tough decision. $300 is no joke. And I’m so happy I did. {Although, the 6 weeks isn’t done yet… so we’ll see}

I was incredibly petrified at the first workout. This is an intense journey. And I’m so scared to fail. For a number of reasons.

But walking out after that first class, my spirits were lifted. I don’t know if it was because I had just got done with 3 weeks of Kosoma or what, but I didn’t leave that class dying. There were other’s who were seriously struggling and seeing them with their struggles hit home. I was just there 3 short weeks prior to that night. Although I still struggled thru the first week or so’s workouts, I know how difficult it is in the beginning. But it also made me realize while I didn’t loose any weight at Kosoma, it definitely made me stronger. It prepped me in some way, both mentally and physically. And I walked out of Elite’s first class accomplishing all the workouts. I was a hot mess, but I had done it.

And I’ve only gotten better from that day, 31/2 short weeks ago.

Like I mentioned earlier, at 3 weeks in, half way there, I’m down 9 lbs. I would have felt better being down 10, half way down at the half way mark. But 9 lbs is 9 lbs. I have never accomplished 9 lbs in 3 weeks. Not even in a month. So how can I be upset about this?

And not to mention, 1 more lb down, I get to update my graph and picture!!!

My goal is 13 lbs down by Monday. I can do this… it’ll be tough, but I can.

With that said, I decided I needed to add a little more umph to my already 5 weekly workouts at the gym. And I have decided I’m going to go for a walk every day with part or all of my family. Not anything huge, but enough to burn some calories.

Tonight was walk number one of the week. :) The hubs took the oldest two fishing, while I took the remaining peeps & pups. I loved it. And who can say they walked two great danes and twins all by themselves? This gal, that’s who. But Moose and Diesel are great walkers. They don’t tug at the leash, they stay by my side, they don’t chase after things or other dogs. I take them for a walk, they don’t walk me. And my walks are far more enjoyable for that reason alone :)

Can’t wait to update you this coming Monday!

Official weight-in day! Hopefully, I’ll be down 13 lbs!

Going for a walk

Hitting Rock Bottom

Have you ever hit rock bottom? And I don’t necessarily mean just in fighting obesity… it could be with anything; an addiction, a habit, a relationship, anything that tore you down?

It’s not a fun feeling. In fact I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The realization of that rock bottom takes over, consumes you, brings on panic attacks, and breaks you down. To be honest, looking up is completely overwhelming. To see the light at the end of the tunnel seems so impossible, but when you’re sitting at the bottom, hugging your knees, trying to find your breath between your tears, you have no other choice but to stand up & begin the journey towards that light.

It’s an experience alright. And one I pray you never have to go through. But if you do, know you aren’t alone. So many people have had to hit rock bottom before they’re forced to find an escape. And that escape is a process.

My rock bottom? Was this past Saturday night. It was the first night since my birthday back in February, that we didn’t have any small people with us. Broden was at his mom’s, and the girls were with my parents. And we finally had a night to ourselves. And I couldn’t have been more excited for it. It was such a sigh of relief to have him all to myself.

I had dropped off the kidlets and by the time I got home, it was time to shower. We decided date night was Texas Road House {we had a gift card}, and there is no such thing as getting there early on a Saturday. So I hopped in the shower, and once I got out, I realized, for the first time, our towels weren’t wrapping completely around me. Not even close.

Oh well. I knew I gained weight. It wasn’t a surprise really.

But then it was time to get dressed. During the week I work at my in-home daycare… nice clothes aren’t required. I’m up and down all the time, running around, chasing and lifting little squirts all day long.

So it’s rare when I do get to dress up. And Saturday, my date night with my hubby was the first one in a long time. I knew my jeans were getting tight. Like really tight. But Saturday for some reason, it was especially hard to get those suckers on. I really wanted to blame it from still being damp, ya know the feeling: trying to put clothes on when you’re not completely dry from your shower can seriously be a daunting task. But I knew that wasn’t the real reason.

I finally got my jeans on… and it wasn’t pretty.

Next up was tops. I tried on most of the shirts in my closet. And nothing. Not one. single. shirt. fit. How does that even happen? And clearly… I had to find something… I can’t exactly walk out in public top less. So.. I just settled on something. Knowing damn well how awful it looked.

In the duration of the time, Jason was in the shower. And once I finally settled on something, I moved into the bathroom to start my hair. And it was taking all the strength I had to not start bawling. Jason was done showering, got dressed, and instantly knew something was wrong.

He tried to talk to me, he tried to get me to tell him what was clearly bothering me, but there was nothing to say. What was there to say? How on earth was that conversation supposed to go? I was hiding my tears while blow drying my hair and trying to control my quivering lip. I am obese. And there was no hiding from it anymore.  There was no more turning my head from the obvious.

I do not have one piece of clothing that fits. Not sweats, not underwear, no shirts, pants, absolutely nothing in my closet fits me.

Now typically, when one complains they don’t have any clothes to wear… everyone knows they are completely over exaggerating. You know they really have their closet full of clothes, their spare room’s closet full, and totes beyond your wildest dreams that are not longer in style as of last month.

I, however, am not exaggerating. My maternity clothes don’t even fit. And I think that’s what made the realization hit as hard as it did. I was pregnant with twins, in addition to four gallons of extra fluid, yet, the preggo clothes fit then, and now they don’t.

It’s just down right embarrassing. It’s an awful feeling.

As I finished getting ready, I continued on with my pity party. I cried. Had a few panic attacks. I sat and thought, & pondered how the hell I let myself get here. I remembered my totes I have in storage of all the clothes that I use to wear. My skinny clothes as I call them & I refuse to get rid of. I will wear them again. What’s the point in getting rid of them now anyway… they are 10 years old… completely out of style. But once I’m that small again, I won’t even care! Hell, I’m 30 with a small herd of children. I make my own damn style. I’ll just be excited because it’ll feel like a whole new wardrobe!

And that’s when the hardest part of my rock bottom hit, while I was wallowing in my own self pity, I manage to realize I have almost 100 lbs to lose. Just wrap your head around that. 100 lbs. 100 fucking pounds. I have never… ever… once imagined being able to get this big. Yet, that day I never thought I would see, is here. Que: my last panic attack for that day.

Then I decided it was time to buck up. This 100 pounds doesn’t define who I am. The person I am is hiding inside just dying to be released. This 100 pounds isn’t permanent. Just because it’s here now, doesn’t mean it’s here to stay. I can change this. It’s a giant climb out from the rock bottom, but it’s possible.

And I’m going to fucking do it.

Writing my last post, it hit me like a ton of bricks just what my first hurdle would be: doing this weight loss journey for me. Sure I said I wanted to lose weight in the past, who doesn’t? But I never wanted it for me. In fact, I always had a work out buddy. Which is great, don’t get me wrong. I highly suggest having one if it fits your needs. But make sure you aren’t using your work out buddy as a crutch. Last summer I worked out with my cousin, Beth, a lot. We rode bikes before work, sometimes hit the gym, worked out in my basement a couple times.

flipping tire

But every morning, I hoped and prayed she would cancel. I would listen for that text to come through and cringe just a little bit when it never came. But when it did? I would lay back, close my eyes, go back to sleep, and completely forget about the fact I was missing my workout. I would use my workout buddy as my reason for working out at all and also my excuse as to why I missed it. I never thought twice. If they canceled, I canceled.

I could have easily gotten up anyway and went for that bike ride. But didn’t. Because my crutch wasn’t there to ‘help me’.

I didn’t need help. I didn’t need a workout buddy to make me exercise. I needed me to want it. And I just didn’t want it bad enough. Because I hadn’t hit rock bottom.

This week, Kosoma started a 3 week free trial, and while at one the Campbell’s famous BBQ’s, my cousin Brett’s, girlfriend, Emily {are you following me?} told me about this free 3 week trial and asked if I would be interested in joining her. Knowing about my previous night, I just went with it. I was scared out of my mind if I am being honest. I heard Kosoma was tough. And I’m not in shape enough to be tough. But what did I have to lose? Besides weight? :)

Day 1: sucked balls. In fact, getting into my Yukon about made me topple over and fall to the ground. I could barley lift my arms to the steering wheel and switching my foot from the gas peddle to the brake and back to the gas… was almost impossible.

But almost impossible, almost fell, and barley lifting my arms? It wasn’t “I couldn’t”. It wasn’t “I couldn’t get into my Yukon” or “couldn’t lift my foot for the gas and brake peddle.” Which meant I couldn’t be as weak as I originally thought I was.

So I went for round two Tuesday night. And it hurt just as bad as night one. But I once again, walked out of there, got into my vehicle, and made it home. Without collapsing.

But on day three, my first giant hurdle was tested… because Emily couldn’t go to Kosoma last night. And for the first time in a super long time I didn’t even hesitate. I knew for a fact, I was going regardless. Because I was doing this for me.

And what made me feel even better? When I got home, my husband looked me in the eye and said “I am so proud of you. I know how bad you are hurting, and I know what the old you would have done when you received Emily’s message. And you went anyway. You’ve been talking about this for a long time & it’s time to just do it.” I have realized I am not using her to get my workouts in. I am just fully enjoying her as an actual workout buddy. What a work out buddy should be.

This is for real. I’m doing this. I may hurt for a long time. And I may have to fall down on the toilet because my legs can’t let me down easy… but I’m doing this. For me. And that statement is such a breath of fresh air. Which means I’m one giant hurdle up from that rock bottom.

The New Me

Part of my New Year’s Resolution goals was to lose this weight once and for all. To not start over again & instead to continue on with my journey, even if I fail a day or two here and there.

I hate how this weight is literally keeping me down… in more ways than one. It’s depressing and you can’t run from it. Or run at all. It changes your relationships with people, the ones you truly love. Even though, you know they will love you regardless of what you look like… it’s hard to be the same confident person you were just years ago.. it changes things, your perspective on things, your outlook on life. And things that were so fun before and a constant in my life, are no longer. Take for example something as simple as taking pictures.

I used to love being in pictures… now my heart drops whenever a phone is brought out for a ‘selfie’. I always hate how I look, how I ruin the picture.

I also feel like everyone is always judging me. I watch everyone’s eyes… it is now a habit, and as soon as their eyes detour from my face to anywhere else on my body, I just know what they are thinking. And it could possibly be they are just zoning out and that’s where their eyes just happen to land. But regardless of the intentions or what they are thinking, that’s what I think. Every. Single. Time.

And please raise your glass and take a drink with me if you have that friend who always tells you how fat they are yet they are half the size of your leg? Maybe they don’t realize how that makes you feel… maybe they don’t realize you’d do anything to look like them… the ever-so-fat person they think they are? It’s down right hurtful. I hear it constantly from tons of people… some people I don’t know, some that I do. 90% of the time they are just fishing for compliments. And I don’t give them any. And maybe the other 10% have as bad as self esteem issues as I do. But either way, there’s a way to go about it to not make the actual ‘fat’ person feel so low about themselves.

 

IMG_7420

I am tired of hearing everyone’s opinion how I should eat. Of those who have claimed to know it all, non are even a licensed dietitian. Everyone has a different opinion and they all think that’s how I will lose the weight. Although, some of these crash diets aren’t doing their body justice like they think it is… but who I am to tell anyone that? If they have found what works for their body, then great! Kudos to you! But please, don’t tell me that’s exactly how I should eat as well. I have read enough trainers’ blogs, books, and even had a personal trainer myself to have a guideline of how to eat. If all the professionals have used the same eating tactics for decades upon decades… it must have some truth behind it & work. I know my body needs all the food groups… and I personally don’t think starving your body of one or more of those groups is the answer. But that’s my personal opinion, in which everyone is entitled to their own. So for me, I know what to do… and it doesn’t seem too difficult. I just need to plan and prep for the week. Something I really need to work on. The quote “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” couldn’t be more true in the weight loss regimen. And that’s changing for me now.

I knew back in my younger years that I was not like most girls my age when it comes to my weight. I remember very distinctly going back-to-school shopping in junior high… 7th or 8th grade. I was so ecstatic, after all, I was getting new clothes to wear for the following new school year. Of course, we go straight for the juniors section in the department store. There were so many clothes that I instantly fell in love with. I was grabbing all the mediums of all the cutest styles. While walking to the dressing room, I was trying to determine how I was going to narrow my search down to just three outfits! However, once in the dressing room.. I discovered every single one of those shirts were skin tight. So I asked my mom to go get me all larges, having a slight panic attack. She came back with the larger shirts and much to my dismay, they were all, still, too tight. I didn’t even attempt the next size up. I was in junior high… I didn’t want the XL’s. As I took the clothes back to the racks, I took a mental note looking for any XL’s in those tops… just in case the rest of our trip had this similar outcome. And there weren’t any. And the rest of my trip went exactly like that. I ended up with my three new outfits, and while I liked them, none of them were my first, second, third, or even fourth choice.

It wasn’t fair, I wasn’t eating crap all the time. I was still active between dance, softball, and volleyball. So why me? I remember feeling like I was already bigger than all the other girls because I swear I was a foot taller than them all. Walking next to girls in the hall who were short, petite, skinny and cute, made me feel like an Amazon woman, hovering over all of them, like an elephant stampeding it’s way thru a herd of deer.

In addition to that, I couldn’t even fit into my normal size clothing. I was never a size 0… or even a size 6. But I was happy with where I was. Going two sizes up was a hard one to swallow. Emotions are already a crazy whirl-wind at that age and there’s so much pressure to be liked and to fit in. And yet, I felt like the black sheep, all because I was taller and bigger than everyone. And I was only in Junior High.

Once I got to my freshman year, I did lose the weight & I didn’t even have to try. I was much more active between dance, drill team, pitching practice, and softball practices. And I got back to my normal size and even lost a little more… but in the back of my mind I knew I was going to fight this weight as soon as I became inactive… or even just not as active as I was then. I knew it would be a constant battle eventually in my life. And unfortunately, I was right. But that doesn’t define me.

I am so ready for a chance. I’m ready to live. I’m ready to love being outside and active. I’m ready to want to go for a random bike ride with my offspring. I’m ready to take my family to the pool or on a boat ride.

I want to be an active parent. I want my children to grow up knowing it’s normal to be active. And not sit around and watch TV. So as my first picture said, this is the last time I start for the first time. It’s now or never.

Let’s be honest. I’m not getting any younger here. My skin’s elasticity is diminishing fast if it wasn’t already destroyed by the giant twin belly I had. It’s time to do this now. If I wait another decade like I did in my 20’s… I’m going to be 40, the twins will be 11, Kensli 14, Broden 21 & I am going to be so insanely busy by this point. I need to be fit within a year or two and I need to do this now.

So it’s time. And I have to do more work this time around. I gained all that I previously lost, plus some. Plus a lot really. But these goals are going to become a reality. There are so many reasons I want to be fit. Not just skinny. But fit. The way I look and feel isn’t who I am. This isn’t me.

I’m starting this up again for the last time and I am going to be strict. My posts maybe boring as this is going to be my live journal. Feel free to skim.

But I’m going to do this like I did previously. But just for the sake of making this simple {and not making you click through this blog} , I’ll repeat the rules in this post.

I’m baring it all again. For the sake of accountability. And maybe if you are in the same spot as me, a little inspiration. I’m going to do this. You can do.

Start 220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep
R Bicep
Boobs
Under Boobs
Belly Button
Hips
L Thigh
R Thigh

May 4th ~ my starting weight is 230 lb. I’ll take some pictures tonight, take my measurements, and update this post afterwards.

August 4th ~ 1st Quarter Weigh In:                   {Goal: 199. Down 31 lbs}

November 4th ~ 2nd Quarter Weigh In:           {Tentative Goal: 174. Down 25 lbs}

February 4th ~ 3rd Quarter Weigh In:              {Tentative Goal: 159. Down 15 lbs}

May 4th~ Final Weigh in:                                    {Tentative Goal: 140-150 lbs! Down 9-19 lbs}

I plan on taking a picture after every 10 lbs lost.  I’ll take a front facing and side facing picture. When I take a picture, I’ll also add to the above table. I’ll create a new post with updated info in the table with all pictures for comparison.

My official weigh in dates is as listed above with my tentative goals. But I will also weigh in every other Saturday morning.

My biggest difference this time is how I’m going about it. I read Chris Powell’s Choose to Lose and I am going to try to follow his advice.

In a giant nutshell, this is what he preaches.

Each day you eat 5 meals. 6 am, 9 am, noon, 3 pm, & 6 pm. {You can choose what hours you want to make your meals.}
Monday, Wed, & Fridays are low carb days. Your first meal of the day is a protein and a carb. The rest of your meals consist of a protein and fat. You also must do one of the given Shaper Exercises which are resistance-exercise circuits. Shapers are after high-carb days, when your muscles are fueled up and ready for max performance.
Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturdays are high carb days. Every meal is one protein and one fat.
Every meal should have veggies shoved in there also.
Sunday is a free day with no ‘diets’ or workouts.
He also wants you doing certain Shredder Exercies {These burn the fat}Monday through Saturday and prefers you to split them during your day because you burn twice as much even though you’re exercising for the same amount of time. The more you shred, the more body fat you burn. The more time one dedicate’s to shredding, the faster the weight-loss goal is reached.
So look at this post as my first Weight Loss journal entry. I’ll post again at this week to show you where I’m at.
Who’s joining me in this journey? Who has a little bit of weight to lose? Or maybe a lot like me? Or are you just wanting to get healthy or toned? Either way, let’s do this!

First Quarter in Kicking Fat’s Ass

Well where do I begin. I fought with myself over and over on how to write this post. Why can’t weight just melt off as easy as it is to pack on?

I failed. I failed miserably.

I actually got down to 210 on Friday, Sept 19th, and I was soooo happy with myself. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to take a picture and fill out the chart because it was the day before my brother’s wedding, and us ladies were doing bridesmaid stuff!  Then life happened and I gained some back. Really… just a lot of excuses happened.

As I have stated before, my first quarter goal for myself was 199 by October 10th. Well. It’s not going to happen. Or come anywhere close! I haven’t stepped on a scale lately, so I don’t know what my exact weight is. And frankly, I’m just scared to do so. I don’t want to see what life did to me.

But it is what it is. What can I do now? Except get my ass going again. It’s never to late to pick it back up. And that’s what I’m going to do. I don’t want to use the phrase ‘starting over’, because I don’t believe I am. I’m still working on that 5k training and I’m not at my beginning weight. But more or less, getting back on that wagon.

I decided I’m not adjusting my second quarter weight loss goal of 174 by January 9th. It would have been much easier to get there had I met the goal for next week, but I did it to myself. On the Extreme Weight Loss show, many participants don’t make their goals, but that didn’t change anything. They just had to learn from the past and move on.

So… looking at what had happened the last two months, I came up with a couple huge things I need to work on.

1) Drinking once a week. I picked up on the drinking due to being stressed about other things in my life right now, and instead I should have picked up a dumbbell. It made it impossible to get up at 4:30 the next morning or get anything done the following day for that matter. So it’s time for a change in that aspect. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be partaking, just cut back considerably.

2) Planning my meals in advance for the week. The whole “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail” saying was created with Jason and I in mind. Really. When I had my meals planned out, it was incredibly easy to have supper ready and done within the hour of my daycare kids leaving, which meant I had more time to work out afterwards. So tonight, Jason and I are going to sit down {he doesn’t know this yet, but he will} discuss our meals for Monday through Sunday, make the grocery list, and as soon as I get paid, we’ll be getting groceries for only those meals. Any good crock pot meals you recommend?

I’m also going to be trying to eat as healthy as I possibly can. Super strict until I am able to say no to the good crap stuff. Lots of chicken, fish, veggies, fruit… It just sounds so boring doesn’t it? But I suppose, nothing taste as good as skinny feels.

3) Exercising 5-6 days a week. Preferably 6 days… but Lord knows I’m a tad bit busy. But I’m going to do my best to get in at least two hours a day. I’m excited to run a 5k and move on from there.

I know some people are probably disappointed or are assuming I will never get anywhere, and for that I’m sorry you feel that way. But I’m excited to prove you wrong. I’m excited to be fit and run around with all my kids. To fit into cute clothes and look adorable in pictures.

Who else is struggling? Or are you one who has started and kept at it? Anyone else fall off that losing weight band wagon? Come talk to me, we’ll get back to it together! :)

Love and Toodle-o’s!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Well, today was weigh in day. Ugh. Will there come a day that I don’t dread that damn scale so much? Just walking past it gives me the heebie jeebies.

But I did weigh in. And the good is I went in the right direction. I didn’t stay in the same spot or go the wrong way. I was happy with that. I am proud of that.

But the bad is I only lost one pound. I’m at 213.  At the very least I wanted to lose one pound a week. At the most? I wanted two pounds a week, which would have put me at my first mini goal of 10 pounds down! Then, a picture and an updated table would have accompanied this post. But, nope. Not yet.

The ugly? I now have 7 weeks to lose 14 pounds.

However, I do only have myself to blame. In the last two weeks, we had a lot going on. My brother’s fiancé’s bachelorette party, a country concert, my dad’s birthday, my in-laws annual fish fry, a wedding, prepping all the baby clothes to sell in a huge consignment store sale, getting all said clothes to the sale, school started, and soccer started as well. Not to mention the hubster’s has now decided he wants to start running.

That doesn’t include the random grocery store trips and errands we had to run.

Seriously. We have been busy. With busy comes early mornings and late nights. I have been utterly exhausted so 4:45 am comes and then goes, all while I’m still getting more ZZZ’s. Now that school has started, my school agers are gone during nap time, who helped listen for kids cry while I worked out in the basement. I can’t hear them cry while I’m down two floors and with the treadmill running. And after work? Ya… that’s a damn joke. The twins have to be fed, supper has to be made and then eaten, and by that time it’s 7:30-8. Bed time for the two is 8:30-9. I could go at 9…. but it takes me so long to wind down after working out, it’d be 1 am before I fell asleep.

With our busy schedule, we had to eat on the run constantly. When you’re trying to change the ways you look at food… the most depressing sight on a road trip is those damn golden arches. McDonald’s is not exactly known for their weight loss menu. But. I sucked it up and ordered a grilled chicken wrap. Which is huge for me. I hate chicken at fast food restaurants. I don’t know why, it just tastes nasty. As if it’s not even real chicken… {it probably isn’t.} But at least with the veggies and such in the wrap, it helped hide the taste. But it was soooooo difficult to not order a quarter pounder with a diet coke. And by the 800th trip to a fast food, I finally gave in and ordered something shitty.

So in all honesty, how I even lost a pound, is besides me. But, I’m glad I did. I was scared shitless to step on that damn thing this morning.

I’m not proud. But it happens. Life happens. And I have two options from where I’m standing. I can say fuck it, I’ve blown everything this past two weeks, I might as well give up because it’s almost impossible to even get a half hour work out in and I’ve ate like shit. So there isn’t any point in continuing to try. And give up. Like I have done 100% of the time in the past.

Or.

Face it, suck it up, and move on. I could realize that even though the scale only said a -1, I still moved in the right direction. Realizing there are shitty hours, days, and/or weeks should motivate me to kick ass the following weeks. Those bad times are going to happen. I need to work on not letting it happen on such a large scale, but that’s part of the journey. Is figuring the journey out. I’m still struggling. But I’m making better choices now that I ever did in the past. So I can be happy with my lousy pound and go pick up a dumbbell.

I’m not trying to come up with excuses. I could have found time real early in the morning or really late at night. But it’s incredibly hard.

And it’s scary now bike riding at 5 am. The sun doesn’t come up until closer to 6… and those trails have no lights. It’s hard to see a damn thing. I need a light or two for my bike and I would feel much better. But then… that cost money, which is what we don’t have.

But after these two weeks, I’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve figured out some things I need to do different.

Figuring out a damn meal plan would be the start of that. Planning out on the weekend what I’m going to eat for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner would help me be prepared during the week and hopefully I could actually fit eating into my schedule on a daily basis.

Second. I want to work out at least 5 times a week, but would rather do 6, for at least an hour to two hours. So with that said, I’m going to get up at 4:30 every morning {except Friday} to run/walk or bike ride and lift weights. Saturday or Sunday morning, depending on which day is more free, I plan on going on a decent bike ride. Maybe 15-ish miles, if not 20.

And third. No fast food. I’m not ready to test my will power against the call of McDonald’s or Taco Johns. If anything quick is required, Subway it is. And that’s that.

And maybe someone will look into my treadmill…? Any electricians out there?  In the middle of running, it just resets it’s self, which brings the treadmill to a complete halt… and I run straight into the dashboard thing. It feels soooo grand having a dashboard stab me in the gut. Let me tell you. I can only take so many collisions in one workout.

But I can’t afford a gym membership, so, if I don’t have a treadmill, I’m not sure what I’ll do quite yet.

But let’s cross that bridge once we get there.

Until text time,

Loves and toodle-o’s!

It’s Time to Get Real.

Thank you all so much for the love from yesterday’s post. It was kinda a down-in-the-dumps-post, but after the week I had, I just felt like venting. It was the roughest week we had in a while and I apparently just needed to blow off some steam. But thank you for all your offers of help. We truly appreciate it! I think just getting out of the house once in a blue moon would help tremendously.

But onto something new. Like…. Kicking some fat’s ass???

So. I have been contemplating this post for quite some time now. Do I put my weight loss journey all out there for the world to know? Or do I continue to sugar coat things until I’m at a happy weight and feel comfortable baring it then, if at all? It’s incredibly hard for me to look at the scale or in the mirror and not cringe… let alone spilling the beans to all of you.

I have read numerous other weight loss blogs, one in particular that a friend introduced me to. Mama Laughlin is an amazing mom who has accomplished so much. When she started her weight loss journey, she also didn’t have money to join a gym and had to do a lot of things on a limited budget and work with what she had. She actually has been a huge inspiration. And it wasn’t until I read her My Soul is Bared post, is when I really thought to myself I can do this. And shortly after, I started this weight loss journey for real. But since the day I read that post… I have pondered this post that I am writing, and wondered if I actually could do the same. Would I immediately regret this post? There’s only one way to find out.

Before I spill the details, please go ahead and read the rules. Let’s make this a friendly environment and support everyone. And I don’t just mean me. But everyone who is trying to better themselves. For example that over weight gal who is running down the sidewalks, where most would poke fun, smile and tell her keep it up! Or the person who is completely out of place at the gym, who maybe doing something wrong. Stop and say, I was noticing you weren’t doing this correctly, let me give you some pointers and you’re doing awesome! Everyone can use a hand once in awhile, or just a compliment, or a ‘great job’.

Now. For the det’s.

When I got pregnant with the twinnies I was 5’9 at 205. Using those numbers, I am technically obese.

The morning I delivered the babes, I weighted 260 even. I never thought I would see that number in my life time. But I didn’t realize at the time, just how much weight I was carrying around in my stomach. 2 babies totaling over 9 lbs and 4 gallons of fluid. I rolled out of the surgery room 38 lbs lighter. In a half an hour. {Too bad losing weight the hard way doesn’t work that fast huh?}

Then my 6 weeks postpartum appointment came, and I weighed in at 222. And I figured, I’m not going to lose any more weight by just being lucky. It’s time to work.

So fast forward a little bit. I weighed in on July 9th and was 220 lbs. And I had had enough. I was done. I wanted my clothes to fit again. So the next morning, I got up at 5 am, and Beth and I went for an 8 mile bike ride. And started going every other day. Mostly. We’ve missed a couple days. But not many.

Starting July 10th, I was 5’9 and 220 lbs.

Here’s the table I created with my tentative goals :)  As I reach these goals, I get a pretty big reward! None of which is a food reward.

220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep 14 ¾”
R Bicep 15 ½”
Boobs 45 ¼”
Under Boobs 40 ½”
Belly Button 44 ¼”
Hips 48 ¼”
L Thigh 28 ¼”
R Thigh 28 ¼”

July 10th Starting Weight: 220

October 10th 1st Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Goal: 199}

January 9th ~ 2nd Quarter Weigh In:                                {Tentative Goal: 174}

April 10th ~ 3rd Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Tentative Goal: 159}

July 10th~ Final Weigh in:                                                  {Tentative Goal: 140-150 lbs!}

 

Now for the rules.

I plan on taking a picture after every 10 lbs lost. {Although, I completely forgot to take a starting picture. So I’ll just find one that I’m in} I’ll take a front facing and side facing picture. When I take a picture, I’ll also add to the above table. I’ll create a new post with updated info in the table with all pictures for comparison.

My official weigh in dates is as listed above with my tentative goals. But I will also weigh in every other Friday morning.

Which today was weigh in day. And I am down to 214! 6 lbs down, only 15 more to go for my first quarter goal, and I still have 9 weeks left!

I’m getting excited about clothes fitting again. It’s going to be like having a whole new wardrobe! I can’t wait to feel like a whole new me. Someone who can keep up with their kids and want to take them to the pool all summer long. There are so many things I’d like to enjoy that I won’t because of my weight.

So bring this on. It’s time to kick some fat’s ass!

 

Work Out Week Two

Well, our second week of Kicking Fat’s Ass has ended and a lot of sweat had been shed. I have already posted about the first half of the week, but let’s talk about the second half, shall we?

Last Thursday was bike day, so we got up at 5 am, met at 5:20-ish and rode for about 10 miles. But damn. I was seriously struggling. I felt like with every bike ride it was getting harder and harder. My gears weren’t shifting and hadn’t for awhile. So I was going 10 miles on gear 2 or 3. I was peddling as fast or faster than Beth, and was going half the speed. And I didn’t realize how bad my bike was until today {which I’ll explain soon} I was a giant sweat ball when I got home. As if I had ran a marathon. And I hadn’t even come close.

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See what I mean? I feel like it took forever to go anywhere? I was working my ass off just trying to get to 10 mph!

Although the sun and fog were so gorgeous that morning I had to stop and take a picture!

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That evening, I decided to take my bike to Beth’s house. Beth and Travis have a roomie who works at a bike shop and actually works on bicycles! So I decided to have him just take a look and see what he could do. So I rode my bike to their house and Beth brought me home. Wasn’t much of a workout like I thought it would be. Only 2.97 miles. But I suppose, I got almost 13 miles in that day.

Friday was weight-in day. Which I was so nervous for. I had put in the work. All that my schedule would allow. Literally, every free moment I could muster, I tried fitting something in. I also woke up sicker than a damn dog that day. My throat hurt so incredibly bad I couldn’t swallow or talk. So I immediately text Beth at 4:30 that I wasn’t going to the gym. I was in so much pain. And it wasn’t work out pain.

I still decided to weigh in. I went potty (need all the help I can get) and hopped on the scale. Ready…?

1 lousy pound. That’s all I lost. Which I guess is at least in the right direction. but I was at the least, hoping for a 2 or 3.

And after that weight in, I just wanted to give up. My heart dropped and I just kept saying, if this is how my weight loss journey is going to be, why am I doing all this work? I was already putting so much time into this… time that I could be spending with my family. I’m eating way better than I have ever done while trying to lose weight. And exercising almost daily, sometimes twice in a day! So why continue for a 1 lb weight loss a week?

But then something clicked. Every time I have ever tried losing weight, I never put this much effort into it and I quit after the first sign of struggle. Which is why I am as heavy as I am now. This is where quitting has gotten me. Huge.

I want to look how I used to 11 years ago. I want to be that MILF that everyone has to do a double take at. I want to feel great and comfortable in my own skin and clothes. I want to be able to play with my kids without being winded after a couple minutes, or worse, watching them from a bench off on the side. I want to be able to keep up with my kids.

And I can’t do that quitting. That’s all I have ever done. It has taken me 11 years to put on the 70 lbs… I need to face facts and realize the 60-80 lbs I want to lose won’t come off in a few short months. I don’t have the luxury of working out for 10 hours a day or even able to spend money on a ton of extra healthy food that the whole family won’t eat. I have to work out when I can and keep the meals simple and cheap.

And it is what it is. So the sooner I face that, the better off I’ll be.

After my little pep talk, I went back to sleep and slept until Jason came home. Only waking up to feed the twins. I literally left Broden in charge of Kensli. But she for the most part snuggled with me and watched movies all day. {See, she can be sweet!}

After Jason came home, I went to the doctor to make sure I didn’t need medication, which thank goodness it wasn’t anything that required that. Came home, sat my ass back down on the couch, finally ate something other than saltine crackers, and went to bed shortly after that.

Saturday, I woke up feeling much better! My throat was still sore, but I could at least talk and swallow! So I woke up at 7, got ready to meet my cousin Jayme and a few of her friends for a walk around Gray’s Lake, and helped with the twinnies which caused me to be late. Still got there about 8:15 am.

We briskly walked around the lake, which was just over 2 miles. We ran a little… but damn. I am just not a runner. No matter how hard I try. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still attempting the Couch to 5k training. But it’s going to be a long haul.  Afterwards, we all met at Smokey Row coffee house, had a healthy breakfast sandwich which consisted of wheat toast, egg, ham, and a slice of cheese with an iced tea. We chit chatted a bit and headed on our merry way. It was nice to get some exercise in on a Saturday morning and get it out of the way.

But today. TODAY was the grand daddy of my exercising this week. Uncle Steve, Aunt Missy, Bethy, and I went on a 26 mile bike ride from Johnston to Gray’s Lake and back! And let me tell you, after Travis and Beth’s roomie fixed my gears and Uncle Steve aired up my tires… it was like a whole new bike!!!! I was more exhausted after our 10 mile bike rides in the morning than I was today after 26 miles. So thank you to Shaun and Uncle Steve for fixing my bicycle :)greatly appreciate it!

There were some tough spots, and the hills kicked my ass as you can imagine, but all in all, I feel like I did really well! I didn’t die, so that was a good start.

Although, my phone died with just a little over 4 miles left, but here were my stats at the point my phone died.

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But since my phone died, I wanted a screen shot of Uncle Steve’s phone since it had the full bike ride mapped out with the full mileage that we biked for. So this is the screen shot of his:

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We did stop on our way back downtown to have a small lunch where I had a grilled chicken salad and ice tea. It was quite delicious.

So I feel good about today. I think next weekend, since Jason is leaving for a week on vaca, Beth and I are going to take the girls to Gray’s Lake again… or somewhere… and walk it. But until then, we’ll be busting our asses all week.

Until next time Tipsy Sippy friends!

Love and Toodle’os!

Kicking Fat’s Ass Start of Week 2

Oh where to begin…?

We’ll just start with the honest truth… I failed some and I rocked some since Saturday.

I didn’t work out thru the weekend and had Taco Johns…. That’s my epic fail. BUT, I was headed to Subway when it started pouring!! And as someone who is addicted to food, decided that I didn’t want to get out in the rain, get soaked, come back out to the vehicle and get more soaked, including my food. So… instead of taking a left to Subway, I took a right to good ol’ TJ’s.

And the kicker is it didn’t even taste as good and I always picture it will. And that happens every time. So why I fight myself with food is just stupid. I just came up with any good reason to head to TJ’s because I was already arguing with myself which to get.

And I’m done with that. If I go anywhere for fast food, I am going to walk in to Subway and get a sandwich. Won’t be easy because we always seem to be running late everywhere we go, so the fastest idea is to run through a drive-thru somewhere. But, I’m done with greasy shit.

Monday, Beth and I went to the gym that evening. Again, we did the elliptical for warm up and then legs and abs workout. And I did better than the time before! That’s ultimately the every day goal right? To do better than the day before?

Then Tuesday, we cancelled our bike ride in the morning. Neither one of us slept well. She couldn’t sleep all night, and I couldn’t fall asleep until midnight or so. So, 4:45 in the morning comes pretty quickly… and makes the 10 1/2 hour work day seem like 20 hours. I meant to go bike riding after work, but my schedule just doesn’t allow for much extra stuff. And then… Extreme Weight Loss was on, and I told myself I’d go when it’s half over. Buuuut…  I completely forgot. I must have really got into the show.

Did anyone else watch it? I wasn’t impressed with her. I don’t know why… but I think it had something to do with when she got caught not exercising for days at a time, she got all defensive. She acted like she didn’t know if she could continue taping this show because her and Chris’s trust was gone since he hired a private investigator to spy on her. Buuuuut, she lied the entire 3rd quarter to him, and Chris caught on. So he hired the PI. And she got mad at him for breaking their trust? But it was okay for her to lie right to his face? So that kinda made me mad.

She looked fantastic at the finale, she just seemed to be one with a lot of excuses during the show. Which looking back.. I tend to have them as well. That is something I seriously need to work on.

But I started fresh today! I’m pretty proud of myself today.

Woke up at 4:45
Ate a banana
Got to gym at 5:15
Left gym at 6:15
Ate 3 {scrambled} egg whites and 1 whole egg with 24 oz of water
Picked up the house before Daycare starts
Daycare started at 7
Ate a bagel at 10:45
Made lunch for daycare kiddos
Picked up after lunch at 11:55.
Beth came over to do some work
Got kids down for nap at 12:30
Fed twins
Did C25K again :) {Never would have done a second workout in the same day before}
Ate a piece of chicken, cottage cheese, carrots, and some edamame
Showered
Kids woke up
Played and had snack
Parents picked up their kiddos
Mom came over
Went to Pizza Ranch where I had only the salad bar, plus one dessert pizza {and a 1/4 cup of tortilla chicken soup}
Came home {feel like I should go biking now}
It’s 8:40 pm, our kids are now in bed.

And I finally get to relax with my husband… for maybe an hour because I have to get up at 4:45 and do it all over again!

MILF status here I come! And yes. I mean that as in the derogatory definition. That’s where I’m headed.

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Clearly, Zuri was soooo excited about Bethy’s work :)

First True Week of Kicking Fat’s Ass

Ahhhhhhh! I just got done with my bike ride and decided to sit down and start this post. My legs are all… weird. You know that feeling after you work out, and the muscles that were worked start pulsing and going spastic? Ya… it’s the weirdest feeling.

It’s time to share Kicking Fat’s Ass week 1. I had started a couple weeks ago, but schedules always got in the way. But I think I have a system down now. I’ll try to keep an update of my activities at the end of each week! :) But this week was excellent… exercise wise.

I wanted to inform you, I went biking every other morning at 5 am!!! I would go every morning, however, on my night/mornings with the babies, I was staying home incase they woke up. Beth and I are work out buddies and it has sure helped me getting my ass out of bed. We went Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings this past week. And by Friday… I was doing some serious struggling. And it was by far my worst day. Mostly because A) we went to the gym last night so I am super sore currently and B) Jason had to be in the office super early this morning and wanted to leave between 6:20 and 6:30. But I still got my ass up and went. Here are the numbers for this week.

Monday:

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Wednesday:

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And Friday (today)

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Beth also found a 14 day free trial pass to her gym. So we decided to start that… before Jason leaves me, with the kids, for a week in Minnesota, because I won’t be leaving the house much then, let alone going to the gym. And let me tell you, I was a hot mess. First of all, totally forgot to change before I left. I was wearing maternity ‘yoga pants’ which aren’t as tight as yoga pants… trust me. Plus a maternity pink tank, topped with spit up all over my chest, and a nursing sports bra. Which as you can imagine doesn’t have the greatest support. I’ll be making sure to give myself a good once over in the mirror before I leave next time for the gym.

Then I walk in and there are probably 8 beefy guys in there. That’s all. And by beefy, I mean huge muscles. I suddenly felt very… ridiculous. {Reason #1 why I hate the gym} We hopped on the elliptical first and whoa boy. It’s been awhile since I have been on that thing. But I felt my heart rate going crazy in our warm up which is always a good sign.

We then moved to the floor to do leg and ab workouts. I may or may not have looked ridiculous… but damn it! I did it all! And I am hurtin’ this morning! The most problem I had was the planks. Which are already hard… but then taking into account I just had my abs cut in half… made it slightly more difficult. And was actually kinda painful around the incision. But I toughed it out.

Let me tell you, if you want to look good exercising, you just come work out with me. I make anyone look like they know exactly what they are doing. Because I’m just struggling to keep going. I look like an estranged dog, pleading for someone to lift me up and carry me away, on my last breathe. Really. I’m just too glorious.

Then doing wall squats I felt like I was going to fall through the wall! I told Beth “I really don’t think this dry wall will hold me. And then I’m going to roll backwards into the work out room behind us and those boys are really going to see what all this can do.” Seriously. I’m so out of shape. But I suppose that’s why I’m doing this… to get back into shape.

In the room we did our floor exercises in, there were was all sorts of equipment. All stuff I see on Extreme Weight Loss and Biggest Loser shows. For example the row machine! And the ropes!! And the kettle bells!!! All stuff I would love to purchase to put in my home gym since I can’t afford a gym membership.

So I always thought the peeps looked sooooo cool working those damn ropes on the boob-tube! Making the giant wave that went all the way down the rope. Heck ya! So I stepped up, grabbed the handles, and immediately knew I wasn’t going to be as good as those people. Those bad boys were heavy!

So I decided to do them while Bethy looked for our workout on her pinterest page and I about died. First of all, they are so heavy duty that I was leaning clear back just trying to lift the damn things. Then trying to lift my arms high enough to make a wave… psh. It was hard!

So I decided next time.. I’ll try the kettle bells and row machine. And in the mean time, if anyone finds any of the above equipment for sale cheap, and/or an elliptical, please let me know!

What I really need to work on, is food. I need to eat more meals and healthier ones at that. And watch my portion control. So that’s my goal this week. Is to watch food like a hawk. Making a grocery list this afternoon after my hair appt and planning all my 35 meals for the next 7 days.

I’m also starting the couch to 5k workout… again. I started week one a couple weeks ago, and the following week none of my planned workout times worked out because of scheduling conflicts with either the hubsters, or the twins, or Kensli, or other things that of course popped up. I’m getting there. It’s just taking some time to really figure out a good schedule for me and leaving some flexibility in case that schedule doesn’t work out for whatever reason.

But regardless, I’m going to do this! Anyone else joining me on this work out journey? How are you doing with it?