The New Me

Part of my New Year’s Resolution goals was to lose this weight once and for all. To not start over again & instead to continue on with my journey, even if I fail a day or two here and there.

I hate how this weight is literally keeping me down… in more ways than one. It’s depressing and you can’t run from it. Or run at all. It changes your relationships with people, the ones you truly love. Even though, you know they will love you regardless of what you look like… it’s hard to be the same confident person you were just years ago.. it changes things, your perspective on things, your outlook on life. And things that were so fun before and a constant in my life, are no longer. Take for example something as simple as taking pictures.

I used to love being in pictures… now my heart drops whenever a phone is brought out for a ‘selfie’. I always hate how I look, how I ruin the picture.

I also feel like everyone is always judging me. I watch everyone’s eyes… it is now a habit, and as soon as their eyes detour from my face to anywhere else on my body, I just know what they are thinking. And it could possibly be they are just zoning out and that’s where their eyes just happen to land. But regardless of the intentions or what they are thinking, that’s what I think. Every. Single. Time.

And please raise your glass and take a drink with me if you have that friend who always tells you how fat they are yet they are half the size of your leg? Maybe they don’t realize how that makes you feel… maybe they don’t realize you’d do anything to look like them… the ever-so-fat person they think they are? It’s down right hurtful. I hear it constantly from tons of people… some people I don’t know, some that I do. 90% of the time they are just fishing for compliments. And I don’t give them any. And maybe the other 10% have as bad as self esteem issues as I do. But either way, there’s a way to go about it to not make the actual ‘fat’ person feel so low about themselves.

 

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I am tired of hearing everyone’s opinion how I should eat. Of those who have claimed to know it all, non are even a licensed dietitian. Everyone has a different opinion and they all think that’s how I will lose the weight. Although, some of these crash diets aren’t doing their body justice like they think it is… but who I am to tell anyone that? If they have found what works for their body, then great! Kudos to you! But please, don’t tell me that’s exactly how I should eat as well. I have read enough trainers’ blogs, books, and even had a personal trainer myself to have a guideline of how to eat. If all the professionals have used the same eating tactics for decades upon decades… it must have some truth behind it & work. I know my body needs all the food groups… and I personally don’t think starving your body of one or more of those groups is the answer. But that’s my personal opinion, in which everyone is entitled to their own. So for me, I know what to do… and it doesn’t seem too difficult. I just need to plan and prep for the week. Something I really need to work on. The quote “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” couldn’t be more true in the weight loss regimen. And that’s changing for me now.

I knew back in my younger years that I was not like most girls my age when it comes to my weight. I remember very distinctly going back-to-school shopping in junior high… 7th or 8th grade. I was so ecstatic, after all, I was getting new clothes to wear for the following new school year. Of course, we go straight for the juniors section in the department store. There were so many clothes that I instantly fell in love with. I was grabbing all the mediums of all the cutest styles. While walking to the dressing room, I was trying to determine how I was going to narrow my search down to just three outfits! However, once in the dressing room.. I discovered every single one of those shirts were skin tight. So I asked my mom to go get me all larges, having a slight panic attack. She came back with the larger shirts and much to my dismay, they were all, still, too tight. I didn’t even attempt the next size up. I was in junior high… I didn’t want the XL’s. As I took the clothes back to the racks, I took a mental note looking for any XL’s in those tops… just in case the rest of our trip had this similar outcome. And there weren’t any. And the rest of my trip went exactly like that. I ended up with my three new outfits, and while I liked them, none of them were my first, second, third, or even fourth choice.

It wasn’t fair, I wasn’t eating crap all the time. I was still active between dance, softball, and volleyball. So why me? I remember feeling like I was already bigger than all the other girls because I swear I was a foot taller than them all. Walking next to girls in the hall who were short, petite, skinny and cute, made me feel like an Amazon woman, hovering over all of them, like an elephant stampeding it’s way thru a herd of deer.

In addition to that, I couldn’t even fit into my normal size clothing. I was never a size 0… or even a size 6. But I was happy with where I was. Going two sizes up was a hard one to swallow. Emotions are already a crazy whirl-wind at that age and there’s so much pressure to be liked and to fit in. And yet, I felt like the black sheep, all because I was taller and bigger than everyone. And I was only in Junior High.

Once I got to my freshman year, I did lose the weight & I didn’t even have to try. I was much more active between dance, drill team, pitching practice, and softball practices. And I got back to my normal size and even lost a little more… but in the back of my mind I knew I was going to fight this weight as soon as I became inactive… or even just not as active as I was then. I knew it would be a constant battle eventually in my life. And unfortunately, I was right. But that doesn’t define me.

I am so ready for a chance. I’m ready to live. I’m ready to love being outside and active. I’m ready to want to go for a random bike ride with my offspring. I’m ready to take my family to the pool or on a boat ride.

I want to be an active parent. I want my children to grow up knowing it’s normal to be active. And not sit around and watch TV. So as my first picture said, this is the last time I start for the first time. It’s now or never.

Let’s be honest. I’m not getting any younger here. My skin’s elasticity is diminishing fast if it wasn’t already destroyed by the giant twin belly I had. It’s time to do this now. If I wait another decade like I did in my 20’s… I’m going to be 40, the twins will be 11, Kensli 14, Broden 21 & I am going to be so insanely busy by this point. I need to be fit within a year or two and I need to do this now.

So it’s time. And I have to do more work this time around. I gained all that I previously lost, plus some. Plus a lot really. But these goals are going to become a reality. There are so many reasons I want to be fit. Not just skinny. But fit. The way I look and feel isn’t who I am. This isn’t me.

I’m starting this up again for the last time and I am going to be strict. My posts maybe boring as this is going to be my live journal. Feel free to skim.

But I’m going to do this like I did previously. But just for the sake of making this simple {and not making you click through this blog} , I’ll repeat the rules in this post.

I’m baring it all again. For the sake of accountability. And maybe if you are in the same spot as me, a little inspiration. I’m going to do this. You can do.

Start 220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep
R Bicep
Boobs
Under Boobs
Belly Button
Hips
L Thigh
R Thigh

May 4th ~ my starting weight is 230 lb. I’ll take some pictures tonight, take my measurements, and update this post afterwards.

August 4th ~ 1st Quarter Weigh In:                   {Goal: 199. Down 31 lbs}

November 4th ~ 2nd Quarter Weigh In:           {Tentative Goal: 174. Down 25 lbs}

February 4th ~ 3rd Quarter Weigh In:              {Tentative Goal: 159. Down 15 lbs}

May 4th~ Final Weigh in:                                    {Tentative Goal: 140-150 lbs! Down 9-19 lbs}

I plan on taking a picture after every 10 lbs lost.  I’ll take a front facing and side facing picture. When I take a picture, I’ll also add to the above table. I’ll create a new post with updated info in the table with all pictures for comparison.

My official weigh in dates is as listed above with my tentative goals. But I will also weigh in every other Saturday morning.

My biggest difference this time is how I’m going about it. I read Chris Powell’s Choose to Lose and I am going to try to follow his advice.

In a giant nutshell, this is what he preaches.

Each day you eat 5 meals. 6 am, 9 am, noon, 3 pm, & 6 pm. {You can choose what hours you want to make your meals.}
Monday, Wed, & Fridays are low carb days. Your first meal of the day is a protein and a carb. The rest of your meals consist of a protein and fat. You also must do one of the given Shaper Exercises which are resistance-exercise circuits. Shapers are after high-carb days, when your muscles are fueled up and ready for max performance.
Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturdays are high carb days. Every meal is one protein and one fat.
Every meal should have veggies shoved in there also.
Sunday is a free day with no ‘diets’ or workouts.
He also wants you doing certain Shredder Exercies {These burn the fat}Monday through Saturday and prefers you to split them during your day because you burn twice as much even though you’re exercising for the same amount of time. The more you shred, the more body fat you burn. The more time one dedicate’s to shredding, the faster the weight-loss goal is reached.
So look at this post as my first Weight Loss journal entry. I’ll post again at this week to show you where I’m at.
Who’s joining me in this journey? Who has a little bit of weight to lose? Or maybe a lot like me? Or are you just wanting to get healthy or toned? Either way, let’s do this!

Happy New Year!

So how was everyone’s Christmas? Our family had an amazing time. We had multiple Christmas’s and our children are SPOILED! So am I for that matter. It’s so fun watching all the kids open their gifts. That’s my favorite part of Christmas is the giving and the children. And of course seeing family we don’t get to see quite as often.

I got a lot of things for Christmas that I asked for. Including some cool gear for snappin’ some photos, a work out bench, a new Kindle, & some tennis shoes!

One of the things I have been asking for {for the last few years actually} is a scroll saw.  I asked for the Ryobi Scroll Saw which would work fine for the random projects I have floating in my head!

But instead, my parents hooked me up with an industrial, beast of scroll saw! Complete with a giant motor and huge stand! This thing is awesome sauce! It’s still at my parents so I don’t have a picture of it yet, but once it’s in my grubby little hands, I’ll be sure to show you!

Apparently it was sitting at someone’s house {whom they knew?} and had not been used, just taking up a lot of space. So they gave my parents a super awesome deal, & well, the rest is history!

I could seriously build a house with this thing! Now that I can do so much more than a few tiny projects, my mind is really, really spinning with some cool thoughts… just need to get them down on paper some where…

Which reminds me, I have started probably 10 notebooks for project thoughts… but I always misplace them and start a new… some day I’m going to find that stash…

But anyways. Back to the point of this post.

 

HAPPYNEWYEAR

cheers

I hope the Christmas hustle & bustle has settled down a bit and I hope you have managed to make room for all your new goodies {we are yet to be completed with that part}.

Have you thought of new resolutions? Are you even a new resolution-er? Are they work related or personal goals? Maybe you want to aspire to do something that you have never done before? Become a healthier you and push yourself to limits you never thought possible? These are where my goals are headed.

I’m not typically a new year’s resolution gal. Usually mine are your typical ‘lose weight‘ resolution. But, this year, I have a few with actual details. Not many, but enough to keep me working through out the 2015 calendar year.

With this past year, we had a lot of really high ups and some pretty steep downs in all different areas so I have to say, I’m excited to start fresh. Maybe just a normal year… with not too much excitement? Na. That’s not how we do things ’round here.

A) We’ll start boring. Yes to lose weight. I want to lose 80 lbs in a full year. Difficult, but not impossible. I asked for a weight bench {for Christmas} so I could start doing different exercises with that, including free weights. I love lifting. It’s the cardio that I’m not such a fan for. With the holidays and the busy season, I got hit hard and exercising just took to the back burner. At first I tried to fight it and worked hard at trying to work it in. But it never worked and it made me feel even more guilty and more of a failure than I would have if I would have just said, ya know, you’re not meeting your goals anymore anyway, let’s just put this on pause. Come the new year, you’ll see a new me. I bought Chris Powell’s book Choose To Lose and I’m about 37% done. {Kindle’s, turn out, don’t give page numbers, just percentages… which I’m not a fan of, but I can deal}. It’s such a good explanation of everything and he dumbs everything down for me. So much of it makes sense now. He is such a huge inspiration and I love his show. In fact, my whole week was just off if they post-poned his show for any reason. I can’t wait to get going again. So look for that series after the first of the year.

B) I want to teach my children to be more giving & to inspire them to show the path to their peers. Teach them that receiving is not everything & that giving has so much more fulfillment. Giving is what brings out the best in people. I feel this is important for our children to learn. The world is full of so much hate and I, as a parent, need to teach them how much good they are capable of, regardless of the situations. To look for the good in the bad. To want to make someone smile just because. To help restore everyone’s faith in humanity. So a big goal of mine is teach my children to give.

C) Blog at least twice a week. Monday and Thursday. I feel that for right now, is a good number. If I can fit more in, then great. But I won’t feel like such a failure if I can’t. To have a schedule is exactly what I need to get my life organized. And that’s part of this… I need a blogging calendar to help me organize my thoughts and posts. So I’ll be looking for one {on Pinterest} that fits my needs. I’m hoping if I can keep up my blogging schedule, I’ll be able to move my blog to the next level by end of year. But we’ll just have to see :)

D) Become a better photographer and start taking myself seriously. I would really like to further my skills but my doubts in myself are holding me back. I want to be able to contribute more financially to my family and I really want to do that with photography.

E) And last, but not least. To become a better person myself, in addition to becoming a healthier me. It may come as a shock to you, but I have my faults as well. {Please… please, settle down… I know, but stop with the surprised faces.} I have so many angles that I would love to work on. Including being quick to judge, being more thoughtful, and being a better wife and mother. Which are the two main areas of focus for me.

So there you have it, my 2015 goals. They will be work… but all for the better. For the much better.

I hope you all keep safe tonight and have DD’s!!!

Have fun smoochin your one and only at midnight! Whether that be your significant other or your best friend!! :)

 

learn from yesterday

Rustic Glam: Wall Paint

Back when we moved into our house in 2012, it was stuck in 1990. The year it was built. Everything was added in when it was originally installed and never changed again. And I knew that when we bought the house. It has built in blow dryers for crying out loud…. ya. It was that awesome.

But we loved the bones of the place. The giant kitchen, bedroom suite, and the almost acre was what sold us on this place. But we knew we would have to update most everything eventually. The good news? It was all livable. Everything worked, it’s just everything was old and blue. They really liked blue… {Yes those are blue counter-tops}

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So when we moved in, we instantly took the built in’s down. It was too much. Even if we used them, it would make this place feel so cluttered. And the space they had for the tv fit an old boob tube that weighed as much as a small child. So we took them out carefully, and re-installed them in the garage for storage. Which worked perfect!

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The walls were also nasty. Everything was painted white except one random wall in the formal living room and the closet wall when you walked in. And those white walls showed everything from the last 22 years. So we decided step one to a homier home was to paint. I love the cool neutrals such as gray, so that’s what color we picked for the main walls. But I was dead set on red as an accent color wall in the living room. Since our living room and kitchen share walls with no breaks in between, I wanted a normal accent color that works well with kitchens.

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And I found this post from my favorite bloggers ever and decided that would be fun for the accent wall. I thought having a cool design in high gloss over the flat paint would make the space, especially with the red. So I bought a can of flat red paint, and a small can of high gloss in the same color.

We painted the red… and I was just not in love. At all. It may have been the flat paint, or the red, or the dungeon-y feel. But in all honestly, I hated it. And since I knew I was going to eventually paint it again, I decided to not follow through with the gloss paint. It may have looked a little bit better, but I still don’t think it would have taken me to my happy place.

It became even worse when we added the entertainment center that my husband built {I designed}. It was a shiny black {worst of my ideas yet: shows every handprint and spec of dust ever!} on top of the dark red, and it made the room seem so dark and elongated. I just was not satisfied. And ever since, I had an itch to change it.

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I really, originally, wanted to turn the red accent wall to just another gray wall. But no one liked that idea. Everyone turned me down. And I also wanted to take out that entertainment center and replace it with something else. But that was soooo much work & money, and not to mention, Jason put soooo much time & effort into it and he did a great job! My design just wasn’t what I thought it would be… So I was really struggling with the idea of just tearing it down. And besides, I couldn’t come up with anything that I wanted to replace it with.

But. Between myself and a few other peeps, we have come up with a new solution. A solution that involves a very low budget and far less work. New and cheap and easy. I’ll take it!

Part of my problem was I was “updating” things in the house without a real idea of how I wanted the end result to look like. I didn’t take a glimpse at the bigger picture. So after some serious thinking and researching, I decided I wanted to go with a Rustic Glam style. I love, love, love the feel of Rustic Glam. The colors, the decor, the style. It makes a house feel like a home but welcomes the rustic accents perfectly.

So first step was of course paint. I started with really wanting some sort of turquoise as the accent wall. I found this picture as an inspiration:

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And I was hooked. So once again, I was dead set on this said color. My cousin had suggested a coral, and I quickly dismissed it. I’m on a turquoise kick and I just thought it would be perfect.

So, I stopped in at Lowes, grabbed a few paint samples, and once Jason went to bed {to avoid any disagreements :)}, I plopped those bad boys up on the wall. Because like my cousin said, if I put those samples up on the wall, then I have to do something with it, otherwise I would never force myself to cover that red wall of gloomy-ness.

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I took a step back and admired the three different colors. And I wasn’t in my happy place with any of them.

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The next morning, Jason walked into the kitchen and living area, and was not so thrilled. :) Good thing that man loves me…. The things I get us into… you would not believe.

If I recall correctly, his words were “What the hell is that?!” Just paint colors hunny, now pick your favorite.

I took the vote from all my daycare kids’ parents, all my school age kids, and even friends and family via the above picture message.

But even after listening to responses and opinions, I still felt absolutely no tug for any of them. And that miserable ache was starting to settle into my stomach, that same feeling I had after we painted the red.

And then. Then I saw it. A photographer had posted a newborn baby she photographed that was laying on a turquoise blanket and had a coral headband, and it went together perfectly! I fell in love and knew my cousin was right. {I tried like hell to find the picture again so I could show you… but with zero success} So I text Bethy right away and told her I changed my mind and that she was right.

Coral it was.

I got on the Sherwin Williams Visualizer , searched coral and it suggested the color Coral Reef. I instantly knew that was the color I wanted. It looked perfect against the gray that was already on my walls, and looked okay with the black entertainment center (which will also be getting a face-lift soon).

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So that day, I went to Lowes with my cousin so I could get her military discount, got a gallon of Coral Reef, and we went to work.

Beth does the trim… and will probably have a permanent job here when it comes to painting. Lord knows I am not patient enough. I can mural up almost any design and roll the heck outta those walls… but trim? Hell no. I get paint on every thing in close proximity to what I’m supposed to be painting. But Beth is amaze balls and doesn’t even need tape!! But I can hardly watch her do it… she moves so slow because she’s so careful… and I just want to take her brush and do it for her… but then we’d end up back at square 1.

And I love how it turned out! It seems so much homier than that damn red!

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Eh. Look at all those finger prints and smudges. It’s got to go, pronto!

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What’s even better??? Shortly after, I received an email from Sherwin Williams telling me the color of the new year 2015 is…. drum roll please…. Coral Reef!!!!

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Boom.

We’re just that good over here.

 

mirror

Now that the gloomy red is gone, now is this giant mirror’s turn.

Step 3: the entertainment center. (After the New Year)

It’s gonna be awesome sauce!

Stay tuned!!

Love and Toodle-os!

It’s Time to Get Real.

Thank you all so much for the love from yesterday’s post. It was kinda a down-in-the-dumps-post, but after the week I had, I just felt like venting. It was the roughest week we had in a while and I apparently just needed to blow off some steam. But thank you for all your offers of help. We truly appreciate it! I think just getting out of the house once in a blue moon would help tremendously.

But onto something new. Like…. Kicking some fat’s ass???

So. I have been contemplating this post for quite some time now. Do I put my weight loss journey all out there for the world to know? Or do I continue to sugar coat things until I’m at a happy weight and feel comfortable baring it then, if at all? It’s incredibly hard for me to look at the scale or in the mirror and not cringe… let alone spilling the beans to all of you.

I have read numerous other weight loss blogs, one in particular that a friend introduced me to. Mama Laughlin is an amazing mom who has accomplished so much. When she started her weight loss journey, she also didn’t have money to join a gym and had to do a lot of things on a limited budget and work with what she had. She actually has been a huge inspiration. And it wasn’t until I read her My Soul is Bared post, is when I really thought to myself I can do this. And shortly after, I started this weight loss journey for real. But since the day I read that post… I have pondered this post that I am writing, and wondered if I actually could do the same. Would I immediately regret this post? There’s only one way to find out.

Before I spill the details, please go ahead and read the rules. Let’s make this a friendly environment and support everyone. And I don’t just mean me. But everyone who is trying to better themselves. For example that over weight gal who is running down the sidewalks, where most would poke fun, smile and tell her keep it up! Or the person who is completely out of place at the gym, who maybe doing something wrong. Stop and say, I was noticing you weren’t doing this correctly, let me give you some pointers and you’re doing awesome! Everyone can use a hand once in awhile, or just a compliment, or a ‘great job’.

Now. For the det’s.

When I got pregnant with the twinnies I was 5’9 at 205. Using those numbers, I am technically obese.

The morning I delivered the babes, I weighted 260 even. I never thought I would see that number in my life time. But I didn’t realize at the time, just how much weight I was carrying around in my stomach. 2 babies totaling over 9 lbs and 4 gallons of fluid. I rolled out of the surgery room 38 lbs lighter. In a half an hour. {Too bad losing weight the hard way doesn’t work that fast huh?}

Then my 6 weeks postpartum appointment came, and I weighed in at 222. And I figured, I’m not going to lose any more weight by just being lucky. It’s time to work.

So fast forward a little bit. I weighed in on July 9th and was 220 lbs. And I had had enough. I was done. I wanted my clothes to fit again. So the next morning, I got up at 5 am, and Beth and I went for an 8 mile bike ride. And started going every other day. Mostly. We’ve missed a couple days. But not many.

Starting July 10th, I was 5’9 and 220 lbs.

Here’s the table I created with my tentative goals :)  As I reach these goals, I get a pretty big reward! None of which is a food reward.

220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep 14 ¾”
R Bicep 15 ½”
Boobs 45 ¼”
Under Boobs 40 ½”
Belly Button 44 ¼”
Hips 48 ¼”
L Thigh 28 ¼”
R Thigh 28 ¼”

July 10th Starting Weight: 220

October 10th 1st Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Goal: 199}

January 9th ~ 2nd Quarter Weigh In:                                {Tentative Goal: 174}

April 10th ~ 3rd Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Tentative Goal: 159}

July 10th~ Final Weigh in:                                                  {Tentative Goal: 140-150 lbs!}

 

Now for the rules.

I plan on taking a picture after every 10 lbs lost. {Although, I completely forgot to take a starting picture. So I’ll just find one that I’m in} I’ll take a front facing and side facing picture. When I take a picture, I’ll also add to the above table. I’ll create a new post with updated info in the table with all pictures for comparison.

My official weigh in dates is as listed above with my tentative goals. But I will also weigh in every other Friday morning.

Which today was weigh in day. And I am down to 214! 6 lbs down, only 15 more to go for my first quarter goal, and I still have 9 weeks left!

I’m getting excited about clothes fitting again. It’s going to be like having a whole new wardrobe! I can’t wait to feel like a whole new me. Someone who can keep up with their kids and want to take them to the pool all summer long. There are so many things I’d like to enjoy that I won’t because of my weight.

So bring this on. It’s time to kick some fat’s ass!

 

So Excited for my New Brand!!!

There is no more confusion!

No more typing mamastipsysippy.com and seeing a giant Makeover Momma in the header! I loved the other header… but it was time for it to go.

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It’s been a long time coming. I saved for awhile, and then made some monthly payments to the wonderful Elsa of EMR Design Studio. Seriously… she’s awesome-sauce. She has been so amazing. She always answered all my questions… even the stupid ones. And helped me with some things outside of the website design also.

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She does amazing work, all her revisions to my header were awesome and it was so hard for me to decide. And considering I had no idea what I was really looking for, think she nailed it!

Seriously, if she lived in Iowa, I bet we would be life-long friends. Another friend to enjoy a Marg with :)

{And ya wanna know a secret? I really wanted to name one of the twins Elsa… but the hubs didn’t want it, and then we found out 1 of the 2 main characters in Frozen was named Elsa anyway… so I agreed to let it go…. hahaha… get it? Let it go? The song from Frozen? Oh, you do. Ok, good…}

I’m super excited about moving forward with my new brand. It feels so much more… me. The chalkboard represents the DIY part of me that I’ll show every once in a while, all with a modern/edgy design with it. And did you note the { } on the chalkboard???? Seriously… my favorite two keys on a keyboard.

Don’t ask.

So that’s all for now :)  Just super-duper excited about the new changes! And you best be excited as well… because it’s staying like that for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. :)

Toodle-o’s and Love!

Kicking Fat’s Ass is Back

Hey folks! How was your weekend? Mine was awesome. Full of family. Seriously.. I feel bad for all of you who don’t get to experience my family. They are amazing and all of them know how to have a good time. I come by my party’in skills honestly :)

We had my Grandma Heaberlin’s birthday party at my house on Friday, and my entire mom’s side came. Saturday, my cousins, Jess and Brett came over with their boyfriend/girlfriend, Nate and Emily. Seriously… that was the most fun I had in a looong time. I can always count on them to have a good time. We all laughed and laughed… told jokes, played games, bullshitted, it was awesome. And just what I needed. I don’t get to see them often enough. {Maybe that’s a good thing~ I tend to be worthless the day following hanging out with them} We got some good pictures of Jess, but I’m highly doubting she wants them on here :) But I laughed for a good 5 minutes while browsing them.

Sunday was a lot of recovering from Saturday and then my Grandpa Campbell’s birthday party at their house. {Seriously.. I think I can hang with the youngsters until I have to recover… then I realize I am definitely closer to age 30 than 21. Definitely.} So we got to see most everyone from my dad’s side Sunday.

Kensli and I had fun in the sprinkler. And by we, I mean she, and I sat on a lawn chair and watched. Like I said, there wasn’t much action for me on Sunday… But I had a lot of fun watching her! I love how she entertains herself and can use her imagination when she’s playing alone. Especially outside. She can really get creative!

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Anyways.

Well, I am excited to announce that Kicking Fat’s Ass is back! Time to lose my excess baggage that I received from being pregnant with the twins. How a woman’s body can stretch and stretch to accommodate a tiny human, or humans, is amazing… but damaging. Especially in my case. I had two human beings and 4 gallons of fluid in there… let me tell you. That can F a mama’s body up!

Last day before the Twinners arrive!

Seriously.. look at that!!! I look at that now and I’m in shock. It was normal for me at the time and I didn’t think much of it. But now… now, looking at this picture, I just shake my head in disbelief.

And all of that had to go somewhere… and it just hangs out. Seriously it’s gross. So it’s time. It’s time to kick some fat’s ass!!

I literally have been waiting for this for awhile! I am so excited to start fitting into my clothes again. I have a bridesmaid dress to also fit into {which I’m soooo close, but just not quite there} Brett, my cuz I mentioned earlier, is this giant workout buff dude, so he’s helping me with my goals and workouts.

My first goal… my first goal is…. drumroll please…

19 lbs by the end of this month.  I wanted it a short enough period that I would have to work hard to get to my goal, but long enough to still be possible.

How am I going to get there? Well. That’s a good question.

First plan of attack, I will be riding my bike in the morning, 3 or 4 days a week. The twins get up about 5 or so, and it takes about an hour to feed them. So, I thought, after they are done eating, I could go for a 45 minute bike ride {childless} before the  day & daycare starts. Jason and I alternate nights on who gets up to feed them, so literally, every other day, I will be out in the morning.

I also got P90x from Brett that I’m going to do during nap time on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. I’m starting with the 30 minute video. I don’t know if you know this, but my life is filled with kids, 24/7… squeezing in a half hour will be hard enough, let alone the hour version of P90x! But give me time folks, give me time.

My second goal & exercise is the dreaded treadmill. I honestly hate it, but, I thought if I had a goal for running, it would help me get somewhere. I really want to run a 5k in my life. Actually run, ya know, like, not walk any of it?! And then move up from there.  I want to enjoy running, and I think I just need to feel some sort of accomplishment with it. So on my off days with the bike, I’ll be doing the Couch to 5k training. It may sound like a really novice exercise… but this is for someone who has never been able to run the mile! I know… I know. It’s sad. I wasn’t lying when I said I was never a runner. But maybe this will change that. I have to start somewhere.

{Anyone else watch NFL highlights on ESPN while running and pretend you’re the star in the clip to gain adrenaline and intensity? No… just me… okay.}

Brett also gave me a shoulder, legs, chest, and arm workout a few years ago that I will need to squeeze in some how. I am probably going to have to do it just after daycare ends. Once Jason is home to help with our kids that is. I need to fit the weights in. That’s my favorite anyway! I feel so tough lifting my 20 lb weight… haha! {I see you macho men rolling your eyeballs}

I also have a punching bag and a giant tire I plan on flipping. I need to come up with an actual schedule. Not sure how I’m going to fit all that in, but it is going to happen.

I know that’s an extreme amount of gear and exercise listed… but extreme situations call for extreme measures.

Seriously.. I’m an extreme situation. I’m done with this excess weight once and for all. Now that we are done having babies, I don’t have to worry about doing this all over again. Everyone keeps telling me “you just had twins and 4 gallons of extra fluid, you have an excuse” Which maybe the case, but do you know how hard it is to look in the mirror? That excuse doesn’t make it any easier to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes {even though I was extremely over weight before I got preggo}. I just need to change.

The other part I struggle with is food. I am not one who can eat the same thing over and over. Which I know many can… I cannot. I literally get to a point I can’t even chew the food up. It’s weird. So, if you have any great, SIMPLE, healthy meals, fill me in! Especially crock pot meals; those are easy to throw everything in during daycare and forget about.

If you think you have a great recipe, please leave it in the comments below! I would love to try it out!!  Just remember, I do not have hours to spend on a meal. I get off at 5:30, and usually have to feed the twins about that time, so by the time that’s done, it’s 6:30, and then I can start supper, unless Jason got home earlier and can get it started. But he’s been getting home later and later. So, as you can see, time is not on our side.

I’m going to need support. This is going to be so difficult. I’m going to have hard times, and plateaus, and not-so-proud moments. But I’m done throwing in the towel and giving up. This is the beginning of a new me. The start of something awesome! I just have to keep at it.

Anyone else have weight loss goals for this summer? Or any at all? Come on and join me from looking like this:

The tummy flap... Wanna tummy flap fight?

To This:

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Haha! :)totally got this.

Toodle-o’s and Loves!

Stop, and Smell the Roses

Today…

Oh, today…

It was a rough one. My patience and sanity was tested time and time again. Running a daycare in your home really can push all your buttons at once, and multiple times a day, and today was one of those days.

But one of the worst things about running an in-home daycare, is I do not get to leave my work at work, and come home to my family at 5:30 and not worry about a damn thing until 7 the next morning. Some kids leave… however, my kids stay. And the frustration that has lingered all day, stays. I do not get a break from my ‘work’. In fact, there are weeks at a time, that I do not get away from Kensli except at night while we are all sleeping. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to stay home with my children, but sometimes, I feel working outside the home is what most parents need to keep their sanity.

And since I have started staying home a little over a year ago, I have noticed Kensli gets a little nervous when she thinks she does something wrong. Or flinches when she has to walk by me after getting in trouble in fear I will bend over and spank her when she isn’t looking. But lately, it has been far worse. The instant fear when she thinks she’s in trouble. It breaks my heart. And deep down, I know I am too harsh on her. For crying out loud, she is only 3. What 3 year old do you know that is perfect? Ya, me neither.

But not only her, my whole family has suffered. Mostly since I have been pregnant, as just about anything can set me off (I never had these emotional breakdowns when I was pregnant with Kensli, but then again,  pregnancy with twins is completely different, and I was at a different point in my life). But my anger has always been an issue I fought. I get so caught up in everything around me that I forget that I’m not paying attention to what matters most to me. I get so busy with things around the house, or cleaning, technology or my phone, that when I’m interrupted because my daughter fell and hurt her knee… I instantly hear a voice in my head already screaming. That voice that helps build my anxiety about the mess that she just made, or the fact that Broden didn’t clean up his room after the 5th time I have asked.

It’s sad really. I run, run, run with everything else that I forget to stop and smell the roses.

I have that voice inside me telling me how I don’t have time to soothe my daughters knee because this laundry needs folded, the dishes needs cleaned, the upstairs is a mess, don’t get me started on the bathrooms, and the dining room isn’t going to clean itself! And already with frustration in my voice, I so rudely ask “Are you fine.? You’re fine. Shake it off.” So she does. She knows to move on.

And the more I think about this, the more my heart aches. Life is so precious.  That life that Jason and I created is so precious. How am I letting her be a 3 year old little girl if I won’t even acknowledge anything but negativity? That doesn’t help her grow, or want to try knew things…

I have spoken with my bestie Kelley about my anger numerous times, and how I am so frustrated with myself for letting my anger get to me, or letting that stupid little voice take over that in turns makes me angry in the blink of an eye. (Jason calls ‘her’ She-ra). And today, Kelley posted a link from Hands Free Mama on her Facebook page. And that entire post is exactly me. To a T. I couldn’t write it better myself. And after having a god-awful morning, I decided to read this because I was curious as to who the bully was. I was a bawling mess… but a quiet one. I didn’t dare wake up any sleeping child today. And for so long I have had a heavy heart about how I behave with my family, but couldn’t quite put a finger on it… until today.  This post opened my eyes wide and I can’t believe it has taken me so long to figure out. I am the bully in my family. I hear so much hatred and anger in my head and all I do is pass it on to the three most important people in my life. They can tell before I do what days they have to walk on egg shells around here.

After reading the post… I am determined to be a different person. I know what is causing me to be this person that no one enjoys being around a good portion of the time. So it would make me just a plain evil person to know what needs fixing and continue life as is. So I’m not. Kensli woke up from her nap and we had a little chit chat. I told her how sorry I was for everything. I told her no more yelling and no more mean mommy. I explained it wasn’t fair for me to bully everyone, and literally, I poured my heart out… to a 3 year old. She was confused. But she did understand no more mean mommy. We had a talk about her behavior (I think she has learned too many things from me the past 2 or 3 months) and explained that we need to talk through our anger. If she’s mad at something she needs to talk to mommy or daddy. Not hit, or yell, or throw things at people. She also understood that. It was a wonderful heart to heart. In fact, I walked away smiling for the first time that day… with a real smile. And the remainder of the day, she did wonderful, as did I. Neither one of us yelled, and she didn’t yell at her friends. She didn’t have the melt down, dramatic temper tantrums because someone was playing with one of her toys. Once in awhile, I had to remind her “Remember what we talked about today?  We need to talk about our anger and not yell.” And she would proceed to tell me she was angry because…. It couldn’t have been a better ending to a pretty terrible day.

So like in that post from Hands Free Momma, I have decided to stop the anger in my head. If I feel something building, I just need to tell myself stop. Let Kensli make a mess experimenting something new. Let Broden be a typical 9 year old boy who loves video games. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes along the way, no one is perfect, myself included. And I don’t know how to completely make this 180 change, but I’m starting with STOP.  

So I will leave you with that. Stop. And smell those roses.

Welcome to Makeover Momma!

Welcome to Makeover Momma!

This has been quite the adventure getting thus far in the blogging world and to say I’m excited about this is quite an understatement. {I only wish my hubs shared the same excitement!} I thank Sour Apple Studios for designing my blog. I love it and couldn’t be happier! What do ya’ll think? Simple, yet elegant, yet very creative and it’s perfect! Thank you Lindsey for all your hard work!

I decided I wanted a little place of my own to document and organize all my crafts and projects and to also help keep my family and friends updated in my crazy whirlwind of a life! Although, I am new to this blogging thing, so please bear with me. I’m learning a lot and trying to understand even more.

Thanks to Pinterest, {we have a love/hate relationship – I love it’s guts, and my husband hates it} I have plans and ideas just needing to be released from my head… and Pinterest either helps as a starting point for my creative mind or helps me tweaks my ideas.

Since our house is stuck in 1990, and needs all sorts of new everything, all of which we can’t afford brand new. We decided to give our house a major makeover one 5 projects at a time. With that comes all sorts of DIY, sewing projects, furniture makeovers, and who knows what else! I just love getting my artsy juices flowing!

I promise to try to remember to take lots of pictures and show you all the steps so maybe you can make your very own… of whatever we are working on. ☺

I’m sure I will also have some epic failures to share. Feel free to laugh and maybe tell me what we did wrong?? That would be most helpful on your part. My husband and I are no pro’s but we try and learn from our mistakes! That’s all you can ask of us right?

Along with all my furniture and house projects, I have also decided I personally need a new makeover. All around. I need to lose weight and thought this was the perfect place for documenting my weight loss journey. Why you ask? For two reasons: A) I have to hold myself accountable for everything that goes into my mouth and to actually exercise and B) Maybe to inspire others to take the challenge. I know I am not the only one on this earth having trouble shedding some unwanted pounds and by bearing it all, maybe it will help you get out there and move it, move it! Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can.

Is there anything that you are wanting to accomplish by fall or end of year? Big or small? Spill the beans folks! And lets do some makeovers!