Archives for August 2014

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Well, today was weigh in day. Ugh. Will there come a day that I don’t dread that damn scale so much? Just walking past it gives me the heebie jeebies.

But I did weigh in. And the good is I went in the right direction. I didn’t stay in the same spot or go the wrong way. I was happy with that. I am proud of that.

But the bad is I only lost one pound. I’m at 213.  At the very least I wanted to lose one pound a week. At the most? I wanted two pounds a week, which would have put me at my first mini goal of 10 pounds down! Then, a picture and an updated table would have accompanied this post. But, nope. Not yet.

The ugly? I now have 7 weeks to lose 14 pounds.

However, I do only have myself to blame. In the last two weeks, we had a lot going on. My brother’s fiancé’s bachelorette party, a country concert, my dad’s birthday, my in-laws annual fish fry, a wedding, prepping all the baby clothes to sell in a huge consignment store sale, getting all said clothes to the sale, school started, and soccer started as well. Not to mention the hubster’s has now decided he wants to start running.

That doesn’t include the random grocery store trips and errands we had to run.

Seriously. We have been busy. With busy comes early mornings and late nights. I have been utterly exhausted so 4:45 am comes and then goes, all while I’m still getting more ZZZ’s. Now that school has started, my school agers are gone during nap time, who helped listen for kids cry while I worked out in the basement. I can’t hear them cry while I’m down two floors and with the treadmill running. And after work? Ya… that’s a damn joke. The twins have to be fed, supper has to be made and then eaten, and by that time it’s 7:30-8. Bed time for the two is 8:30-9. I could go at 9…. but it takes me so long to wind down after working out, it’d be 1 am before I fell asleep.

With our busy schedule, we had to eat on the run constantly. When you’re trying to change the ways you look at food… the most depressing sight on a road trip is those damn golden arches. McDonald’s is not exactly known for their weight loss menu. But. I sucked it up and ordered a grilled chicken wrap. Which is huge for me. I hate chicken at fast food restaurants. I don’t know why, it just tastes nasty. As if it’s not even real chicken… {it probably isn’t.} But at least with the veggies and such in the wrap, it helped hide the taste. But it was soooooo difficult to not order a quarter pounder with a diet coke. And by the 800th trip to a fast food, I finally gave in and ordered something shitty.

So in all honesty, how I even lost a pound, is besides me. But, I’m glad I did. I was scared shitless to step on that damn thing this morning.

I’m not proud. But it happens. Life happens. And I have two options from where I’m standing. I can say fuck it, I’ve blown everything this past two weeks, I might as well give up because it’s almost impossible to even get a half hour work out in and I’ve ate like shit. So there isn’t any point in continuing to try. And give up. Like I have done 100% of the time in the past.

Or.

Face it, suck it up, and move on. I could realize that even though the scale only said a -1, I still moved in the right direction. Realizing there are shitty hours, days, and/or weeks should motivate me to kick ass the following weeks. Those bad times are going to happen. I need to work on not letting it happen on such a large scale, but that’s part of the journey. Is figuring the journey out. I’m still struggling. But I’m making better choices now that I ever did in the past. So I can be happy with my lousy pound and go pick up a dumbbell.

I’m not trying to come up with excuses. I could have found time real early in the morning or really late at night. But it’s incredibly hard.

And it’s scary now bike riding at 5 am. The sun doesn’t come up until closer to 6… and those trails have no lights. It’s hard to see a damn thing. I need a light or two for my bike and I would feel much better. But then… that cost money, which is what we don’t have.

But after these two weeks, I’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve figured out some things I need to do different.

Figuring out a damn meal plan would be the start of that. Planning out on the weekend what I’m going to eat for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner would help me be prepared during the week and hopefully I could actually fit eating into my schedule on a daily basis.

Second. I want to work out at least 5 times a week, but would rather do 6, for at least an hour to two hours. So with that said, I’m going to get up at 4:30 every morning {except Friday} to run/walk or bike ride and lift weights. Saturday or Sunday morning, depending on which day is more free, I plan on going on a decent bike ride. Maybe 15-ish miles, if not 20.

And third. No fast food. I’m not ready to test my will power against the call of McDonald’s or Taco Johns. If anything quick is required, Subway it is. And that’s that.

And maybe someone will look into my treadmill…? Any electricians out there?  In the middle of running, it just resets it’s self, which brings the treadmill to a complete halt… and I run straight into the dashboard thing. It feels soooo grand having a dashboard stab me in the gut. Let me tell you. I can only take so many collisions in one workout.

But I can’t afford a gym membership, so, if I don’t have a treadmill, I’m not sure what I’ll do quite yet.

But let’s cross that bridge once we get there.

Until text time,

Loves and toodle-o’s!

The Photography Dream

I have dreamed of being a photographer since the 2nd grade. The look of someone carrying a ‘professional’ camera and taking picture after picture just always looked amazing to me. I was always fascinated. I started to really dream of the profession when the movie Step Mom came out. I loved watching Julia Roberts just go crazy with her awesome, super fast, clicky, camera! A good reason to want to become a photographer huh? Ha!

Best Local Wedding Photographers

Well about 4 1/2 years ago, I had decided I was going to go to Rocky Mountain School of Photography {RMSP} in Missoula, Montana the very next summer. They have a Summer Intensive Career Training that lasts 4 months every year. They basically teach you everything you need to know about photography, from taking the pictures, to lighting, to marketing your business, to your brand, to getting your new business off the ground. I fell in love. I couldn’t wait. But my husband {boyfriend at the time}, was not as excited as I was. He saw photography as a hobby, and something I could learn how to do on my own without the extra $20,000 student loan bill that came with RMSP. Which is true. I could have  done it on my own… but saw this as a quick way to learn what I needed to, and was willing to pay the cost. My time was precious to me. So 4 months of learning what I needed to vs. 1-2 years of maybe figuring out what’s needed? Ya, I was willing to pay for the 4 months.

But, to be fair, I started emailing random photographers that were around the area, asking them for their advice, whether to go to school, or learn all on my own, what they thought helped, etc. One of those photographers was Lindsey at LP Photography. She. Is. Awesome. A wonderful photographer who just has a unique and great vision with her photographs. Her model/fashion photography is pretty f’in sweet also! I never thought that was done in Iowa… I always pictured that type of photography to be in LA or New York. That clearly changed when I met her and saw her work.

Anyway, her and most the other photographers I had emailed, all said that school was really unnecessary, and everything you need to learn, can be found on the internet. Jason and I also found out on Valentines Day {a few months before I was to start RMSP} we were expecting. So between the two, mostly because of the later, my RMSP dream went down the drain.

While pregnant with Kensli, I got engaged, so had a wedding to plan after Kensli was born. We also moved into a new house just before the wedding, and then I quit my job to start an in-home daycare so we didn’t have to pay daycare costs anymore.

During all of that, I decided I was going to really try to start this photog biz and I had bought a used Nikon D90 off of Craigslist . So I emailed Lindsey back again… 4 1/2 years later to see if we could meet up and chit chat. During our luncheon, she decided to take me on as an ‘intern’. And all the information she has given me has been so invaluable. She’s so incredibly talented, and I always look forward to hanging out with her to learn more.

Lindsey specializes in weddings, seniors, and models, and does not shoot newborns. But I really wanted to watch a newborn shoot happen in front of my eyes, so I contacted Alisha with Alisha Stoutenberg Photography. I love her style of photography. Love it! It’s so light and just beautiful. So once the twins were born, we went over for a shoot so I could watch her and learn some stuff from her. It was awesome to watch someone shoot newborns. There’s a special kind of difficulty that comes with newborn photography, and I find the challenge exciting. But I also wanted to see these safety skills happen before my eyes. I was scared there was something huge I was missing and would never, ever, put a baby at risk knowingly. It was so fun to watch her. Move around the bean bag with the upmost skills. I just soaked it all in. And as soon as her new house is built {I am super excited to see this place, it looks and sounds amaze-balls!} I’ll be heading back over to pick her brain at some editing software.

Seriously. Aren’t these two amazing for doing this for me? Someone they barely knew? And to just help out of the kindness of their hearts. To help someone make it in their very saturated career choice. And I have decided, because they have been so kind, if I make it into the professional photography level, and get asked to help another emerging photog like myself, I would love to pay it forward. 

Babies are just so innocent. You look into their eyes and your heart can’t help but melt. They have the softest features that make them seem so angelic and I want to bring that out for their proud parents. A memory stilled and hung up on the wall. Forever to be remembered.

In the end, I want to be a newborn and boudoir photographer. I know. The two most extreme opposites in photography…. but not really…. See, one type helps creates the other, so they are kinda related in all honesty.

I have done some shoots with my babes when they were born… but it’s the editing that I’m struggling with. Clearly I have much to learn with posing and the camera as well, but I can’t wait to understand my way through Lightroom and Photoshop.

colored

blkwhite

Heart Twins

Are they not the most precious little babes on earth? Okay, okay… I know I’m their mom… but still. They are the most precious. :)

So as soon as I learn enough editing techniques that I can start editing enough to make a difference in a photo, I plan on starting free photo shoots for a limited time. And I can’t wait! But I’m nervous as hell. I’m not great with posing, and I hear that just takes time and practice… but it’s odd telling people how to pose, how to stand, or where to put their foot or hand when you’re not 110% positive that’s where that hand or foot should be.

But I’m super ready for the challenge. I am ready to eventually turn this into a small money making hobby. Because lord knows we could use the extra money.

I can’t wait. So if you need family photos or have a newborn making it’s debut into this world soon, please let me know! I’d love to do a photo shoot with you! :)

It’s Time to Get Real.

Thank you all so much for the love from yesterday’s post. It was kinda a down-in-the-dumps-post, but after the week I had, I just felt like venting. It was the roughest week we had in a while and I apparently just needed to blow off some steam. But thank you for all your offers of help. We truly appreciate it! I think just getting out of the house once in a blue moon would help tremendously.

But onto something new. Like…. Kicking some fat’s ass???

So. I have been contemplating this post for quite some time now. Do I put my weight loss journey all out there for the world to know? Or do I continue to sugar coat things until I’m at a happy weight and feel comfortable baring it then, if at all? It’s incredibly hard for me to look at the scale or in the mirror and not cringe… let alone spilling the beans to all of you.

I have read numerous other weight loss blogs, one in particular that a friend introduced me to. Mama Laughlin is an amazing mom who has accomplished so much. When she started her weight loss journey, she also didn’t have money to join a gym and had to do a lot of things on a limited budget and work with what she had. She actually has been a huge inspiration. And it wasn’t until I read her My Soul is Bared post, is when I really thought to myself I can do this. And shortly after, I started this weight loss journey for real. But since the day I read that post… I have pondered this post that I am writing, and wondered if I actually could do the same. Would I immediately regret this post? There’s only one way to find out.

Before I spill the details, please go ahead and read the rules. Let’s make this a friendly environment and support everyone. And I don’t just mean me. But everyone who is trying to better themselves. For example that over weight gal who is running down the sidewalks, where most would poke fun, smile and tell her keep it up! Or the person who is completely out of place at the gym, who maybe doing something wrong. Stop and say, I was noticing you weren’t doing this correctly, let me give you some pointers and you’re doing awesome! Everyone can use a hand once in awhile, or just a compliment, or a ‘great job’.

Now. For the det’s.

When I got pregnant with the twinnies I was 5’9 at 205. Using those numbers, I am technically obese.

The morning I delivered the babes, I weighted 260 even. I never thought I would see that number in my life time. But I didn’t realize at the time, just how much weight I was carrying around in my stomach. 2 babies totaling over 9 lbs and 4 gallons of fluid. I rolled out of the surgery room 38 lbs lighter. In a half an hour. {Too bad losing weight the hard way doesn’t work that fast huh?}

Then my 6 weeks postpartum appointment came, and I weighed in at 222. And I figured, I’m not going to lose any more weight by just being lucky. It’s time to work.

So fast forward a little bit. I weighed in on July 9th and was 220 lbs. And I had had enough. I was done. I wanted my clothes to fit again. So the next morning, I got up at 5 am, and Beth and I went for an 8 mile bike ride. And started going every other day. Mostly. We’ve missed a couple days. But not many.

Starting July 10th, I was 5’9 and 220 lbs.

Here’s the table I created with my tentative goals :)  As I reach these goals, I get a pretty big reward! None of which is a food reward.

220# 210# 200# 190# 180# 170# 160# 150# 140#
L Bicep 14 ¾”
R Bicep 15 ½”
Boobs 45 ¼”
Under Boobs 40 ½”
Belly Button 44 ¼”
Hips 48 ¼”
L Thigh 28 ¼”
R Thigh 28 ¼”

July 10th Starting Weight: 220

October 10th 1st Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Goal: 199}

January 9th ~ 2nd Quarter Weigh In:                                {Tentative Goal: 174}

April 10th ~ 3rd Quarter Weigh In:                                    {Tentative Goal: 159}

July 10th~ Final Weigh in:                                                  {Tentative Goal: 140-150 lbs!}

 

Now for the rules.

I plan on taking a picture after every 10 lbs lost. {Although, I completely forgot to take a starting picture. So I’ll just find one that I’m in} I’ll take a front facing and side facing picture. When I take a picture, I’ll also add to the above table. I’ll create a new post with updated info in the table with all pictures for comparison.

My official weigh in dates is as listed above with my tentative goals. But I will also weigh in every other Friday morning.

Which today was weigh in day. And I am down to 214! 6 lbs down, only 15 more to go for my first quarter goal, and I still have 9 weeks left!

I’m getting excited about clothes fitting again. It’s going to be like having a whole new wardrobe! I can’t wait to feel like a whole new me. Someone who can keep up with their kids and want to take them to the pool all summer long. There are so many things I’d like to enjoy that I won’t because of my weight.

So bring this on. It’s time to kick some fat’s ass!

 

Tired

I am tired.

I am tired of so many things.

I realized Tuesday night, when the kids had gone to bed, and we were picking up, just how tired, exhausted, and stressed we both are. Jason and I were so incredibly frustrated that we were literally sternly putting dishes away and doing all but freaking the fuck out. But trying to hold our composure and not attacking each other. Because we weren’t upset with each other. Just our situation.

For starters, our house is never ending. And I’m not talking just a few baskets of clothes not getting folded and putting away. Or the dishes hanging out in the sink for an extra day. Or even the house not being picked up of the toys that are constantly on the floor.

We can’t keep up with it all. I don’t even know the last time I deep cleaned. The bathrooms are nasty. The only potty room I end up getting real clean is the main floor. And that’s because it’s so small it literally takes me 5 minutes to do. There is junk in our hallway upstairs everywhere. Things I have no clue what to do with. The dishes are always dirty. And the clothes barely even make it to the washer. If it’s lucky enough to get to the washer, it’s usually not lucky enough to make it to the drier. Therefore, no one has clean clothes.

The kitchen is a mess constantly. It doesn’t help I have piles, and piles, and piles of medical bills coming. I literally get 15 bills a month for one bill… {Now take that times 100 for the rest of the bills I have due to the twins} I can only make one payment a month anyway, why do I need 15 copies of each? We found out our insurance is rejecting everything. Just the bill for their birth alone is $250,000. That doesn’t include anything else from their 3 week and 1 day stay. We’re also getting dinged from them because we aren’t paying yet… well why do that when they can’t even tell me how much I owe? I don’t know where to send money to. And what am I supposed to do, hope they put it towards a bill correctly? But I know if I do send it in.. it’ll get cashed, and all the bill people will tell me that the check wasn’t sent to them, so I sill owe them money. No thank you.

My floors haven’t been washed in ages. My kids’ rooms are a mess, constantly. Hell, the twinnies nursery never even got decorated. Just painted. And I have boxes everywhere of clothes here, clothes there. This box is clothes too small, this box has clothes that will be used in a month. Blankets are lying around everywhere.

Kensli’s room is constantly a mess. Because she refuses to pick up… and we don’t have time to sit up there and make sure she does it. We are always tending to the twins or supper it seems.

The kids, nor I, ever get baths or showers. No joke. We have no time. Just planning supper the night before is a huge task, all the while we’re trying to get some dishes in the dishwasher and remember to actually start it and not get distracted before we push that button. There is constantly shit everywhere.

And I want so badly to decorate my house… And I don’t see it ever happening. What I wouldn’t give to walk into my house with decorations on the wall, a clean house {Hell, I’ll even just take picked up!} with my families pictures in picture frames instead of my ‘fake’ family. {AKA the people that come in the picture frame when you buy it…} But we have no extra money.We don’t even have enough to get us through the month let alone, buying decorations.

We had just enough extra money for a few fun things here and there before the twins. But now… now that I had 10 weeks off work unpaid for maternity leave and we now have a $500-$600 formula bill, that extra is gone. Beyond gone. Not kidding. We have to have special formula for them since they were preemies. It’s $18-20 a can. {This is the only kind of formula that an off brand doesn’t make} And it now lasts us 1 day plus 2 bottles the following day. You do the math. It’s damn expensive.

I would like to clean our carpet upstairs because our dogs have destroyed it. Our good friends, Eric and Mel, were so sweet to let us borrow their carpet cleaner vacuum thing…And I haven’t even had a chance to get the damn thing upstairs to get started on it.

If you look around our house, you will find hundreds of unfinished projects. Not over exaggerating here. Nothing we have started in this house is finished. Absolutely nothing.

We’ve been dealing with Broden’s mom going crazy lately. And now she has her 16 year old following in her footsteps and headed down her psycho path as well. So we’re dealing with both of them. Please tell me, how does a mom truly not care about her kids? {She’s got three different baby daddys} She only wants them to hate their dads. That’s all. She could care less about anything else. Hell, the only reason she wanted the teenager  back was so she could have a babysitter every day. Not to mention, his mom is the worst liar on this planet. There are times, literally, we walk away from her laughing. It’s so sad.

We have some fun activities coming up… and you want to know how depressing it is when you have no clothes that fit? Super shitty. And it takes away a lot of the ‘fun-ness’ of those activities. And as bad as I need and want to lose weight, I’m so tired of working out every free chance I have. I try to squeeze in at least 2 hours a day… But that never happens. Something always comes up the second I planned to work out. And most of the time it’s inevitable. I feel like working out is close to impossible. So if we can never find time for me to work out.. how the hell am I supposed to lose the weight?

And Jason’s job is just a giant stress-mess right now. He’s going in as early as 6 am, and getting home between 5 & 6 pm. Meetings in the duration of that time.  I don’t even know the details of that aside from his project {He is a project manager at a global company, which is why he has meetings at all times of the day to accommodate all time zones} is going into effect, and the implementation of the project can be a pain in the ass.

As Jason and I struggled Tuesday night to find a positive in our lives, and trying to figure out what we we’re going to do with numerous situations, I looked over at my baby girls swinging in their swing, fast asleep. Zuri was smiling.

IMG_3547

IMG_3546

And I immediately got tears in my eyes. We have a lot of struggles, it’s no secret to anyone that knows us. But we have each other and we have the most beautiful children in the world. And we have the strongest babies I know. As bad as Jason and I just want to give into everything shitty, sit down, and cry our eyes out {okay, maybe that’s just me} I almost feel a little guilty. My twins fought the biggest battle there was. In fact, it wasn’t until after they were born I realized just how lucky they were. TTTS is rough on twins. And I found out, a large percentage of the babies don’t make it to the end. And that thought alone crushed me.

Zuri and Varah were so incredibly strong and never gave up. Not once. They fought with everything their tiny little bodies had. And here we were, two adults, wanting to cave in to defeat. I never thought I could be so inspired by two little people. I never thought I would look up to two human beings 25 inches long.

IMG_2740

DSC_0167

IMG_2735

Every single day, they help me fight our difficult situations and become a better person. They fought to be here, to be with the ones that absolutely adore them. We can certainly fight against a financial uphill battle or a mountain full of dirty clothes and dishes.

Kangaroo Time :)

After our pity party, I realized how much good we have. We have our family, food on the table… it maybe only eggs, but they are edible! We have family that loves us and helps out so often. We have friends that we consider family. We have a roof over our heads… that said roof needs replaced this fall… but it’s still a roof none the less. And we just paid off a credit card and my computer loan. We may not have it all looking from the outside in, but to us, we do.

So, I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry if you come over to my house and it’s a complete mess; I smell to high heaven, covered in spit up; the twinnies have milk in their neck rolls they were saving for later; and we are in no way prepared for supper that we should eat in a half hour. But we’re making it work. We’re kicking ass one battle at a time. One day at a time. One paycheck at a time.

On a lighter note, during their monthly pics last session, Zuri decided she needed to poo. And as the awesome mom I am… I snapped a pic  :)  Enjoy everyone

VZpoo

Twinnies are 4 Months!

I have some chunkers on my hands! And I love each and every roll! And they are 4 months old now!!

They were 4 months on July 14th, and don’t ask me how many weeks that is. Because I don’t know. Sue me.

4 Months B

IMG_3590

IMG_3583

DSC_0392

IMG_3346

IMG_3836

 

IMG_3355

IMG_3760

IMG_3831

Seriously, do they look like they were preemies? Absolutely not! Everywhere I go, I’m told how big they are, and they’ve never seen twins that big, and look at those giant rolls! Oh I know! They weren’t always this big. But we are sure fortunate.

{And this is an extremely late post. I have been working on this post since the week of July 13th and I’m just now getting it done. That’s how busy we have been over here at the Haley household! So you’ll be getting another one of these in a few weeks…Sorry!}

IMG_3526

IMG_3531

See, they do cry! 

They seriously melt my heart every single day. I just can’t believe how blessed we are. It still amazes me we have TWINS! Sometimes when I look at them or think about the day I found out at that first ultrasound, my heart drops just as it did that day.

It’s just a crazy ride.

{Side note}

But ya know what I am tired of hearing?

“Ooooh! TWO babies??? Are they twins?” No dumbass, I found this baby in the parking lot and decided to keep it.

“Oh, my aunt’s brother’s wife had twins, a boy and girl!” I. Don’t. Care.

“Are they identical or fraternal? Ooooh, all the twins I know are fraternal.”  Yes, they are freaks of nature. Take a picture.

“Wow, they are identical huh? So are they two girls, two boys, boy and girl?” Well… being identical… they have to have the same private bits!

“I have a set of twins myself, they’re 15 now, I promise you’ll get thru this.”

That last one… that last one is really starting to infuriate me. Are you trying to tell me I look stressed? Or look like shit? Ooooor what? I find this journey actually pretty easy. My babes are perfect. They don’t cry {unless they are hungry, then they go from happy-go-lucky to HAngry}, they sleep about 8 pm to 8 am now, give or take an hour. They don’t need paci’s. They love to just chill with ya.

So ma’am, who feels the need to tell me your life story because we have this one small connection: I know I will make it through this. Because we’re doing just fine now and have completely enjoyed them since birth. I personally, think this is as easy as having just one baby. There isn’t much difference, except it is double the time in baths and feedings. I’m sorry you apparently lived through hell, but I am not. But thank you for your concern and assuming I have the same path as you.

Anyway… back to my sweet, sweet babes!

We had two appointments for the girls the week of July 14th. Their normal 4 month check-up and Zuri’s cardiology appointment.

Both appointments left me smiling.

The first appointment was much more relaxed. My cousin Avery came with me and was a huge help in holding a child here and there or the diaper bag. She’s kinda awesome, and I can’t wait to have her as a babysitter!!

IMG_3801

Well, we found out Zuri is now 15 lbs 4 oz and 25 inches long. She jumped from 25th percentile to 95th!!! Take that preemie status!

Varah is 13 lbs 15 oz and 24 inches long. And she also jumped from 17-20th percentile to 75th!!

Ya… you wouldn’t know they were preemies would you? And now that Varah is getting chunkier, they are starting to look much more identical. I used to be able to tell who is who the second I look at them. But there’s been a few times now that I had to do a double take {Shhh, I don’t admit that often}.

I took these at that appointment because I couldn’t believe how much they look alike! Finally! Can you tell who is who?

IMG_3802

IMG_3804

IMG_3807

Zuri is on the left, Varah is on the right…. were you correct?

Then later that day I snapped this shot of Varah, she had a bubble mustache!

IMG_3810

On Thursday, Zuri had her follow-up appointment to the cardiologist because she has a hole in her heart {murmur} that she received from the TTTS when they were still in the womb. Since she was the one taking all the nutrients and fluid from Varah, her heart had to work over time, a lot of over time. Which is what caused the hole.

But in that crazy first appointment, we found that the hole is pretty small and too small to do anything about even if it never closes. Well today, we learned the hole has closed!!! No more murmur! And he told us he doesn’t want to see us again! Fine by me, good riddance… cocky doc.

They are shooting above and beyond what any doctor has told us and I couldn’t be more thrilled!

Zuri~
You are something else. You have started talking and really working that mouth of yours. The smiles are constant and your eyes almost disappear sometimes. You can now do tummy time like a champ and hold your head high. You’ve become so strong when sitting up and you’re starting to love it! You just watch all the crazy kids around you with wide eyes, taking it all in. Your checks are doubling by the day. Massive and kissable! You may only weight a 1 1/2 lbs more than your sissy, but you feel like you weigh 10 lbs more when picking you up after Varah. You now wear 3 month clothing, but those are tight. 3-6 months are right around the corner. I’m still stuffing you in size 1 diapers because we have soooo many and I don’t want any to go to waste! 2’s are definitely your actual size, but 1’s will do until we run out. You are starting to actually stay awake after bottles. And your drama queen ‘tude is starting to show :) I mean that in the most loving way possible girlfriend! When you are hungry, you wanted your bottle 10 minutes ago. And you will scream bloody murder until it’s in your mouth. But you are so much fun, and everyone adores you and those chunky cheeks!

4 Months Z

IMG_3584

IMG_3459

 

IMG_3814

IMG_3834

IMG_3837

 

IMG_3829

IMG_3830

IMG_3822

IMG_3739

Varah~
You maybe slightly behind sissy developmentally, but you’re right there. You have now started moving your mouth and tongue like crazy and talking is coming real soon. I have heard a few baby talks but nothing concrete. You have the most innocent look about you, especially when you smile with your eyes and your lips widen from ear to ear. You are my relaxed twin, who can handle hanging with the padres for awhile while we make your bottle, lay you on the play mat, or chit chat with you. Your cheeks are catching up with sissy’s and are just as sweet and kissable as Zuri’s. Now that your are growing bigger, filling out, getting chubs on your arms, legs, neck, and belly, you are starting to look identical to your sister. There have been a few times I have had to do a double take!! :)  But not yet have I got you confused with her. You are your own person and I love that about you. 

4 Months V

IMG_3509

They’ve started the pouty look… Lord help me.

IMG_3546

IMG_3586

IMG_3626

IMG_3440

IMG_3542

IMG_3425

IMG_3741

IMG_3742

IMG_3824

And look at where they started…

First time together since birth