Archives for March 2014

Just Another Day at the Hospital

Good afternoon ya’ll!!

Did you finally get outside this past weekend and enjoy the nice weather? I’ll tell you, there is just something about driving with the windows down, country music blaring, and the fresh warm air hitting your face, that makes you feel like you can take on anything! I don’t know what it is… but the country music is much more appealing in the summer. Maybe because country music stars tend to always sing about summer nights, tailgates down, and drinks up? Or maybe it’s just me.

Windows down, music up, breeze in my face!

Windows down, music up, breeze in my face!

We are doing fabulous over here! The little babes are really starting to catch on to this feeding thing. Today, Zuri was okay’d to go up to four feedings {8 is the goal, we’re half way there!} because she drank two of her entire feedings through a bottle yesterday ~ Wahoo! Rock Star Zuri over here :)  As of today, she is 6 lbs 1.7 oz… an entire 1 lb 1 oz up from her birth weight!

Zuri

Zuri

Varah is still at three feedings, but yesterday, she did take 30 out of 43 ML’s the first bottle attempt, and 20 something the second time. She didn’t take much for her third attempt on the breast. So she’s not quite up to  Zuri’s speed, but stepping up her game just the same. She is now up to 5 lbs 6.6 oz.  She’s up a lb and 1.6 oz from her birth weight.

Varah

Varah

They are doing so good, and I don’t see their weight slowing down any. Hopefully, it’ll be sooner rather than later before we get to finally come home. My nurse, Pam, told me today that their weight gain while they are premature is equivalent to what they would have gained in the womb. So at 36 weeks and 3 days, I would have had a 6 and almost 5 1/2 pounder!!! Can you imagine how big they will be once they reach April 25, their actual due date??

Zuri cuddle time

Zuri cuddle time

All smiles from Varah

All smiles from Varah

 

I also was treated to a little kangaroo time with both of them today. I got to hold them both for a half an hour, skin to skin, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I cried this time. I wasn’t holding any tears back. It is so overwhelming to have only one newborn to love, take care of, and show the world. But having two… the feeling is sometimes unexplainable.

Kangaroo Time :)

Kangaroo Time :)

Then there are other times, I get this undescribable super power feeling. I mean… come on. I make tiny humans. Two. At. A. Time. Just let your brain absorb that last sentence. I cook babies like they are going outta style and pop them out like machine guns. {Okay… maybe not so true with that last part. But. I am pretending anyway.}

So please tell me Mr. Macho Man, what is your super power? Wahahaha {That is my evil laugh}

Last day before the Twinners arrive!

Last day before the Twinners arrive!

Although, my super power did come at a price. There were many some ‘unpleasantries’ this momma had to deal with.

One is in regards to the fluid that the babies were floating around in. Zuri {A} had 18 cm of fluid in her sac, and Varah {B} had 1.5-3.5 cm. So Zuri was basically swimming in a pool. As far as she was concerned, she was in an ocean. Which is why I got the C-section. Because it was too easy for her to flip into breach position. Anyway! During my surgery, I heard the ol’ Doc tell me “You were not kidding when you said you had fluid! We now have 3 gallons contained!” Now that is clearly a shock to most. 3 gallons of fluid in one’s belly, plus 9+ lbs.. equals a non-pleasant pregnancy. But. I later found out from a nurse who was in the room at the time of my c-section they lost about a gallon in the beginning because they weren’t ready for all the fluid that was in this magnificent body of mine. She stated she wouldn’t be surprised if there were at least 4 gallons of fluid. Just ponder that sentence for a second. Picture walking up to the milk section at the grocery store, looping 4 gallons of milk onto a 9 lb belt {represents babes} and wrapping said belt around your belly. Now walk around for a few months just like that. Seem impossible? That’s why I was carrying my belly every where I went. Although, I had no idea there was that much fluid. I had no clue what 18 cm equivilated out to. I do now!

When growing two tiny humans in a pool of 4 gallons of fluid, your belly tends to get rather large. And by rather large, I mean ‘don’t-fit-thru-doorways’ large. I gained 60 lbs with this pregnancy. And before birth, I did not understand why. I was gaining in my belly only… aside from some swelling. All my clothes fit everywhere but my mid-section. So I didn’t understand how I had gained so much weight… it couldn’t have all been in my stomach right? Wrong. But since my belly had the biggest and fastest change, my body acquired some unwanted action… tiger stripes!!! Damn it, I look like a damn tiger. A pregnant one. Seriously… as if this pregnancy didn’t ruin my body enough, now it’s blessed with stretch marks.

{I am woman, hear me roar!}

I wish there was a way to cure stretch marks. Or an actual lotion to prevent them. Or anything at all. Please don’t be fooled by all those lotions that are out there. None of them work. Ask any doctor. Nothing prevents them or takes them away. A spray tan hides them a little bit better, but surgery can make them disappear completely… :)  As I mentioned before, I can be the first one in line for that with a marg in each hand.

As if all that non-sense wasn’t enough, I swelled up like a damn oompa loompa! Yes, before birth- that is typical. A lot of mom’s swell up. But holy smokes… the way I swelled up after the C-section… kinda grossed me out. And I have so many pictures to remind me if I ever forgot. I didn’t realize how bad my entire body swelled until I started looking at pictures of the babes and some that Jason took of me holding them. The first picture I saw with me in it..  dropped my jaw. I swelled up a lot more after than I did before! I hardly recognized the woman in the pictures. So when looking at the pictures on this blog or Facebook, please realize I don’t normally look like that. I’m starting to look more normal. No more Oompa Loompa Marissa.

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My biggest craving during my pregnancy was Bacon and cookie dough. {And margaritas… but that, for some reason, was off the menu}. I based my food choices on if there was bacon in the ingredients list. Which is great considering I was supposed to be eating healthy. But! {Health nuts- skip this part} I found a new, most amazing fast food sandwich on the planet!!! Bbops Bacon Cheese Delux. That sandwich was pure glorious-ness in my mouth. And I blame my best friend Kelley for it. She gets all the blame. I hadn’t been there in probably 10 or so years… and I gave her the choice of where we went to eat that day… and well, the rest is history.

Any type of fast-action on my end was not happening. There was no more ‘get-up-and-go’ in my step any longer. In fact.. almost nothing was a good enough excuse for me to get off the couch. I couldn’t lay flat on my back, obviously. And laying on my side was so painful because it pulled on my skin and sides. When I attempted to lay on my side, it felt like someone was hanging off a cliff and holding onto my belly to pull themselves back up. So sleeping was nonexistent. So the last month and a half, I started sleeping on our love seat downstairs, because the back cushion was elevated perfectly and finally allowed me enough comfort to enable me to sleep again. Then after the c-section, I couldn’t use my abs again… so I continued to sleep on the couch until last week actually. It was a weird feeling sleeping next to someone again!

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They are just so ‘bite-sized’!

I’ll leave you with that for now. Along with a picture of Jason feeding Zuri for the first time today and Kensli’s hair-do for the day. Which by the way… I was the most amazing mom all because I curled her hair :)

 

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A Moment I Will Never Forget

Wow. Twins. What an overwhelming experience this has been thus far.

With my Babes

With my Babes

Zuri and Varah are two weeks old as of this past Friday, and they are just now showing signs of moving forward in this learning-to-eat process! Last night, Zuri drank an entire feeding thru her bottle, and today, Varah did the same thing!!!  Before, they were only allowed two feedings thru breastfeeding or bottle, and the rest via the feeding tube, but now, they get three attempts a day!

They are making small strides… literally baby steps. All we are currently waiting on is for them to learn to eat. They kicked ass when it came to getting off the ventilator or getting their IV’s removed and all those other things, but the eating, {which I really thought they would take off once given the opportunity} it’s been a different path. But they have always moved forward. Never backward yet. And we couldn’t be more proud of those fighting little preemies.

Daddy with Varah

Daddy with Varah

But on a happier note, last Sunday was the twins first time together since birth. It was a moment I’ll never forget.

Together At Last

Together At Last

The nurse had asked us if we had gotten to hold them together at all, and I calmly explained no, but we hadn’t asked either because we assumed it was a ‘no, no’ at this point still. And she said, well, I don’t see why not. Let’s do it if you two are okay with it.

Do you have to ask? That’s like asking me if I would like in on that pitcher of margaritas? Hell yes I’m okay with it!!

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

I was already holding Zuri, so the lovely lady brought Varah over and laid her onto my chest next to Zuri, and the next thing we saw was Varah’s arm slowly drape over Zuri and rest there. All three of us adults ‘ooooo’d and awwww’d’ at the same time, and I fought the tears back.

First time together since birth

First time together since birth

{Which was really dumb. I am an emotional mother of fresh twins, who is currently staying in NICU. Damn it, if I want to cry, I should be able to. Not that the nurses have anything against that, or my husband at that matter, but for a long time, I felt like I was supposed to hold it together.}

We instantly got the camera and phones out to take pictures of this moment. As it won’t be long before they are stealing each other’s toys and then clothes.  I immediately sent the pictures to friends and family, and then thought, What the hell am I doing?

I should be savoring this moment for as long as I can. Not focusing on the damn phone or dealing with other people. Yes, it was a proud moment and I couldn’t wait to share it with everyone on this planet, but I decided it was going to wait. I wanted to watch my girls and love on them.

Crossing Arms

 

My Precious Babes

My Precious Babes

I promise Varah is not that small in comparison to her sister. She was looking down so you can only see the top part of her head, where Zuri was looking towards Varah, so her head looks bigger. It’s just the angle.

It wasn’t long before Varah started rubbing Zuri’s ear, then her hand moved down Zuri’s arm and was soon holding hands. There have been moments that I have to pinch myself to believe these two miracles have entered our lives, and this was one of those. The fact that God blessed me to be their mother just amazes me… although they may not think so in a couple years. Tough.

Holding Hands

Holding Hands

 

The Twinnies are Here!

Yes, I have been MIA on lots of things. Getting back to people, Facebook, here, texting… but for all good reason :)

Zuri Irene and Varah Ann were born Friday, March 14, 2014 at 7:53 and 7:54 am.  And absolutely beautiful.

{Varah is pronounced Sarah with a V}

They were born at 34 weeks, which was the furthest the doc was going to let me go due to the TTTS, but they still weighed in at 5 lbs .7 oz, 19.5 in long, and 4 lbs 5 oz 18.5 in long. I have seen some of my friends’ children shorter than that at full term! I couldn’t believe how long they were.

And for being 6 weeks early, I didn’t think 5 lbs was bad either. I believe the last 5 weeks or so, they are supposed to gain a half a pound to a pound a week… could you imagine another 5-6 lbs added onto each child. Ya, me either.

But, my thoughts are with all you past, present, and future mom’s of multiple’s who do go longer than me. Kuddos to all of you!

Well, Thursday night/Friday morning, I only got about 2 hours of sleep… and that’s a big maybe. So needless to say, once my alarm went off, I must have pushed snooze, because I woke up 15 minutes before we had to leave and my husband had just got into the shower. He is someone that needs at least an hour to get ready. Eh. I do mean that in the most lovingly way possible… {Love you honey!}

With all that, we only showed up 10 minutes late! Not so bad if I do say so myself. We’re late to everything, so why wouldn’t my twinnies arrive into the world a tad behind schedule?

We checked in and they walked us to our room ~ the room closest to the NICU ~ SCORE! We had to do some prep work, getting monitors on my belly, checking babies, getting IV started, filling out paperwork, blah, blah, blah.

Finally, it was time to walk to the operating room {O.R.}. Talk about an intense feeling. We finally made it and they made Jason wait outside the O.R. until it was time for the surgery to begin. Which of course, without my best friend, it was even more terrifying.

I open the door, and was welcomed with the whitest of walls, floor, and ceiling. Bright, giant lights lined up in multiple rows above me. Along the walls were trays full of different sized scalpels, scissors, and other lets-cut-someone-open tools. And smack dab in the middle of the room was a small single table in the shape of a cross. For me. It was officially time to be crucifiedcut open, placed on the table for my C-Section. 

After I got my spinal tap, they helped me lay down because I was already losing feeling in the lower half of my body. They tested me to make sure I couldn’t feel anything before they started slicing and dicing, and once I passed those tests, they rose the ‘curtain’ in front of me, and brought in the hubster’s.

He hung out at my head with the anesthesiologist who really helped keep me calm. Next thing I knew, minutes later, the  anesthesiologist said “Okay, Baby 1’s head is out, in just a few seconds, she’ll be free!” And literally, as soon as he finished the sentence, I heard crying. The most beautiful and sheep sounding cry I have ever heard. Jason ran over to the table they took Zuri to and started snapping pictures… {Or so I thought… I haven’t found them on my camera yet}

Then as soon as Zuri was taken to the table, it was all repeated for Varah. And I heard Varah crying and I so badly wanted to reach up and grab her and snuggle her next to me… but unfortunately for me, I was paralyzed. There was no moving.  It was a weird feeling. I couldn’t feel anything being done to me, but I could feel my body twitching as if trying to tell that spinal tap, “look here biotch, I’ll move if I want to!” But, my body was all talk.

Let. Me. Tell. You. It was a happenin’ Friday morning.

Then the NICU staff started rolling the twins by my head for me to look  at. They had them in those clear incubator looking things, all bundled up in a blanket, and all I could see was their faces. Then, they continued passed me and right on out the door. Varah following closely behind Zuri.

The worst part about the whole thing, is I didn’t get to see my girls until the following day, about 10:30-11 in the morning. More than 24 hours later. It was awful. I was vomiting until 1 pm on Friday, and then after that finally got under control, my blood pressure spiked super high. So they kept declining my continuous pleading request to go see the cutest little babes on earth.

As bad as that was, it was kind of also a blessing. I felt like shit all day, in and out of sleep. Trying to get my feeling back in my chest down to my toes. Projectiling into the tiniest little bowl you ever have seen. {Yes, turns out I have amaze-ball  skills when it comes to puking into small containers.} And of course, trying to get the pain from my itty bitty incision under control.

It was like a super bad hang over. But instead of a broken foot this time {yes, Cinco De Mayo last year was a biotch to me}, I had been sliced open.

BUT. Once I did get to see them in NICU the next day, Varah, was able to start being held and I was the first one who got to hold her. Saturday was a glorious day.

Anyway, here is a very small camera dump of the hospital stay for the first week. More stories to follow. :)

Getting ready for my C-Section!

Getting ready for my C-Section!

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Pictures of them the day after delivery!

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Loves & Toodle-os!

{Sorry all the pictures are run together. I am still getting the hang of this blogging thing. If anyone can help me upload more pictures, that’d be awesome. For some reason, it won’t let me upload more than one group of pictures. It’s really starting to make me mad!}